I was at a meeting at school today for Ariana's kindergarten parent orientation. I was speaking with another parent who's daughter is in Ariana's current 4K class and she asked if Ariana was attending one of their classmates birthday party tomorrow evening. Um, no. We never got an invitation. She frowned and said that she thought all the girls were invited. She described the invite, which was homemade, thinking that maybe we thought it was an art project and put it aside. But I never saw anything like what she described in Ariana's backpack. Then she wondered if it got lost, etc. I didn't want to make a big deal of it, but wasn't quite sure what to say.
To be honest, I'm a little shocked that we didn't get one (assuming she wasn't invited and the invite wasn't lost) as Ariana and the birthday girl have played together outside of school and they hang out together at school. But, I don't ever see her parents because their sitter picks her up. Ariana doesn't have a clue, which I'm thankful for, but I'm also afraid of her being hurt if someone does say something and she figures out she's not going. On the other hand, what if the invite was just lost? I don't plan on calling the parents. It was suggested that I ask their teacher. Which I'm not sure is actually a good idea either. It's really not that big of a deal. She's got her birthday this weekend and is focused on that, so I'm sure this would ever bother her. But I personally have issues with exclusion. I know what it's like to be excluded as a child due to petty reasons and it hurts. I guess I feel that it's all or none for parties like this.
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We are just having cake & ice cream with grandparents this weekend for Ariana's birthday. I was not planning a kids party for her this year. But this has me thinking now about what to do next year.
Do you do the whole kid party thing for your kids? Do you invite the child's entire class or just a few friends?
Update: The invite was lost. There was another child's who's didn't make it home either. Yes, all the girls were invited and I had two more moms mention it to me at pickup this afternoon. And then birthday girls mom came to pick up and she asked if we were coming since she hadn't heard from us.
I think it's only natural that the first time you find out that your child is maybe not invited to a party that you wonder a bit. I'm all for keeping friends open and not forcing each other to play. For me, I can say that our parties will be all or none in the coming years.
