Monday, April 26, 2010

Drooltastic Things

I'm going to start something fun and post things that I find myself drooling over. I would love to have them, but the items are either too costly or not really prudent to purchase.

First up....

The Dooney & Bourke bags for Disney.

I'm totally not into couture (did I even spell it right?) things, but I heart me one of these bags.

Item number two:

This is a house for sale near us and I find myself salivating over it. Nowhere near our price range, but drool-worthy.

A Costly Message

Apparently I need to slow down. (yeah right, like that will happen) I'm breathing, which is awesome, but I have this sharp pain that strikes when I breathe deeply. Last night, my breathing was so shallow I thought I was panting. It started as a stitch in my side, progressed to "Fuck, what the hell is this?" to mild "don't take a huge breath."

But it freaked me out enough to go to the walk in this morning. Cuz, what if I was really having a heart attack or something. I know it was on my right side, but seriously, what if?

After exposing my pretty ladies (aka, my boobies) to a nice male nurse (who made lovely conversation with me) while getting hooked up for an EKG, having a lab tech draw FOUR tubes of my beloved red stuff (while asking me what I do for a living--note, not trying to stereotype but she appeared to be the sort that might just date one of my offenders), and then waiting in the fucking lobby of the radiology department for 12 minutes (while wearing a hospital gown on my top) turns out my ticker is okay and there are no blood clots.

The doc thinks the area underneath the left breastie is causing me some issues with the scar tissue from my reduction. 10 years ago. And it's still bothering me? WTF. Or it could be related to stress.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

What did I do?

I'm signed up for a 5K to benefit a local women's shelter for the first Saturday in May. I will NOT be jogging the entire thing. I don't even think I could jog half of it. But I will jog some of it. There is a group of about seven ladies from work who have formed a team. We're a motley group of marathoners and walkers. (obviously I'm in the walker section)

I intended to start walking to get my legs used to a longer distance (you runners, don't laugh at me), but just haven't gotten to it. Exercise is on my list, but always falls short at the end of the day. I really need to change that. So, perhaps I can drag my ass out of bed tomorrow morning early and go for a walk before work. Hmmm...I better get to bed then.


I've come to realize many things change over the course of our lifetimes, including ourselves. I'm surprised at how much things can change. My core values & beliefs have only gotten stronger, but there are things about myself that have changed. A few examples...

I used to have patience, much more patience. I would let 2-3 cars go ahead of me in a parking lot or wherever because I wasn't in that big of a hurry to get to my destination. I would be hollering at J for bitching about crazy, asshole drivers. Now, that is me. My son has picked up a few choice phrases from listening to mommy while I drive. That's okay, as long as he yells at the same driver. J/K, I know it's not okay that my son walks around saying "fucking christ," but it does make me laugh. I don't allow him to see me laugh, but it does bring a smile to my inner face while I'm telling him to not say those words. Drivers who are too slow piss me off. Drivers who are over the top aggressive piss me off. Drivers who don't use their blinkers piss me off. Get the point?

For years I have been a minimalist when it comes to my wardrobe. I'm a t-shirt & jeans kind of gal. I hardly ever wear earrings and have been known to not wear much jewelry beyond my pearl on a gold chain. I'm changing that. And I like it. Jewelry has become a fun way of bedazzling myself. It's fun.

I'm more outspoken. I think some of this has to do with a work friend who has no issues sharing her mind, but whatev. I used to never say anything about bad food at a restaurant, bad service, rude people, etc. Now, watch your ass! I am not rude about it, but I have gotten better at speaking my mind. The whole not caring so much about what others think still needs some major work, but I'm getting better.

I'm not sure if it's due to becoming older and wiser, or being more comfortable with myself. Either way, I like it.

Friday, April 16, 2010

Somethings Brewing

We got back some preliminary tests on Aand now have to see the GI doc as something came back abnormal on her celiac panel. She has a few minor food allergies, but it doesn't sound like they are anything serious we have to worry about her eating. She will be having neuro-psych testing done next week too.

Somethings brewing, I can feel it. I just don't know what. And honestly, it feels scary and overwhelming not knowing what the near future holds for her, and us.

Sunday, April 4, 2010

Easter Bunny

Even though the "Easter Bunny" comes to our home and gives the kidlets baskets of fun and yummy goodies, let me just say this....I hate that fucker.

On the surface he looks cute, perhaps? To me, those hollow eyes and maniacal grin are the stuff from my nightmares when I was younger.

How about two of the giant guys? (Seriously freaking myself out right now.)

I used to have a reoccurring nightmare that a giant Easter Bunny kidnapped me from my mom and grandma. Yes, this is a true story...I can't make this up. The bunny would race along downtown with me under his arm, I can remember seeing steps leading to tall building as we raced by. And no one did anything despite my screams. Soon, we were in an area with houses again and he broke into a house and put my on the stove to cook me. Just sat my ass right on the burner and lit it up. I was screaming the entire time. Then as he is rubbing his hands together in anticipation, the people who lived in the home came into the kitchen and the man had a shotgun. As the gun would fire, I would wake up.

Yep, that was my childhood nightmare. It was the same every time I had it, every time. And it scared the crap out of me. The last time I recall having this nightmare was in high school, thankfully. And now today, the Easter Bunny at the mall...well, I can't look him in the eye without a shiver. And even though he brings my kids goodies, I vomit in my mouth a bit at the thought of the Easter Bunny in my home.

And in my search to find Easter Bunny photo goodness, I came across this pic. It's not for the faint of heart, and I apologize if you dream of the rabbit tonight. This is the Easter bunny that should give everyone nightmares...

Saturday, April 3, 2010

March gratitude

I missed most of my Tuesday gratitudes in March, so I'm going to just put a bunch together....

**I am so thankful I have a job. Yes, that job is demanding at times, involves highly emotional situations, and at times feels like I babysit for an awesome fee....but I have a fantastic job that I enjoy doing, work with people I like, and get to experience new things almost daily.

**My kids imaginations. What more can be said. They have AWESOME imaginations, and I love it.

**My husband. Nuff said.

**Enjoying the last Tues of March with my hubby, we both had off and enjoyed each other's company (most of the time). He got some new clothes for work, we picked up a movie.

**Deadliest Catch. I lurve that show very much. And I have a slight crush on Edgar.

**My health. While I may not be in 100% top shape, I am overall in decent health. I'm working on some improvements, but everything functions so I can't complain.

Doctors, Surgeons, and Labs...Oh My!

We've got several things going on with both kids right now.

First up is Ari. She had some lab work yesterday to test for celiac disorder and a RAST food allergy panel. (Let me tell you, having labs drawn on a child who is anxious is sooo much fun) Her pedi wanted to make sure there isn't some allergy causing Ari's behavior issues. We've also been referred to a local center where Ari will see a behavioral pediatrician. Not sure what that entails, but we can't get in to see her until June. She will also see a doctor for neuro-psych testing to see if she has some disorder. I feel pretty strongly she has some sensory processing disorder, but we will see. I had to complete a large packet of information this week and will get scheduled for that doctor soon.

Phoenix has been a handful lately himself. Not sure if it's the weather or what, but he's been ramped up with activity. He's been sent to the office at daycare twice in the last month or so. Aye. His night terrors also seem to be occurring more often and he had one last week that had to be the worst yet. Thankfully they don't last too long before he can settle down. Biggest news on him is his belly. He's been complaining for a while that his belly hurts. We chalked it up to he ate too much, etc. However, one night he said his belly button hurt. We took a look and boy that thing was poking out like I've never seen it do before, and his pokes out a bit. We took him into the pedi and she could feel the whole where the hernia is yet. He's had it since birth, but with it hurting him we were referred to the surgeon. We got to see the surgeon on Thursday and Phoenix will be having surgery to fix it this coming Friday.

I feel strongly that a drink a day will help me get through life right now. ;-) At some point I think I may start rocking back and forth while my tongue hangs out and I drool excessively. No one ever tells you how hard parenting is, or at least you don't believe them when they tell you prior to having children. You go into your baby-phase dreaming and expecting the perfect pregnancy and birth, great babies who sleep through the night early, are never sick, etc. Those expectations flew out the window for me a long time ago (almost 7 years to be exact), but the tribulations of raising a child still sneak up on me.