That would sum up how I'm feeling today. Blah fucking blah.
My dad's surgery went okay and he gets the scoop tomorrow at his post-op. Cross your fingers (and whatever else you can) that the cancer is NOT in the muscle wall....that is bad.
Work is busy. Sucky busy. While I love the fact that I just never know what a day will turn out to be like at my job, there are days when I wonder just what the hell I'm doing. And what are people thinking? Could someone really be that stupid? Apparently.
Some positive big news in our family is that my BIL & SIL are finally pregger's...with TWINS!! Totally awesome and we are so excited for them. They are going to be terrific parents!
That's all for now folks. Will update tomorrow with dad news.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
Politeness
As I went into a public restroom yesterday, I came across a probably normal occurrence, but disgusting nonetheless. Yes. There was a pubic hair on the toilet seat. Um, "Ms. I Need To Leave My DNA Behind", could you please check the seat upon exiting the stall to ensure you didn't leave any surprises. Surprises include, but are not limited to:
-pubes
-floaters (just flush again plz)
-pee on the seat (or whatever that damn liquid is that wets the back of my thighs)
-your monthly products (please double wrap in a criss cross manner prior to throwing in the wall box)
-and anything else you might leave behind
What's the rush? Did you drop ass in the stall and want to scurry out so no one knows it's you? Relax. Everyone farts, takes a dump, and pees. It's nature. But at least have the decency to clean up after yourself!
-pubes
-floaters (just flush again plz)
-pee on the seat (or whatever that damn liquid is that wets the back of my thighs)
-your monthly products (please double wrap in a criss cross manner prior to throwing in the wall box)
-and anything else you might leave behind
What's the rush? Did you drop ass in the stall and want to scurry out so no one knows it's you? Relax. Everyone farts, takes a dump, and pees. It's nature. But at least have the decency to clean up after yourself!
Monday, March 23, 2009
Cancer Shmancer
My dad has cancer.
Bladder cancer. Sucks, but what can you do. He's had one surgery already and goes in again this Friday for another resection. After that he starts a course of BCG for 6 weeks, don't ask me to spell out what BCG means, I'd have to look it up again. At this point, it's in the wait and see stage until after this next surgery and treatment. We are hoping for good news, of course.
I haven't really dealt with the emotions of this. My mom called me at work after the initial diagnosis and I stayed strong on the phone for her, but immediately broke down for a couple minutes afterward. But since then, I've honestly stuffed it way back into the deep recesses of my brain, and heart. Life has been too hectic to even contemplate the possibilities and I simply haven't had time or the shoulder to cry on with the hubby working so much lately. So, I'm going to try and deal with it this week. That's a goal. Sounds weird, but for me it's pretty big. Just ask my husband. It's been driving him crazy that I'm keeping this bottled up.
We've known for a while now, but he hasn't wanted to tell family until now. He sprung the news this weekend. Can you just imagine that conversation? Seriously horrendous. "Hi mom & dad, I have cancer. Could you pass the coffee please?" They broached the subject with humor, which is just totally our family. And then my mom told our side of the family too. So, it's not a secret anymore. Whew. That was one secret that majorly sucked keeping.
I'm scared. Scared for my dad, my mom, and for our family. He's really my step-dad, but he's my dad in every sense of the word. And I can't imagine not having him in our lives. He was a godsend for my mom and I. She will be lost without him and that makes me feel so many emotions that I just don't want to feel. I've been trying to not go to the doom and gloom of it all, but that's my greatest fear. That I will lose my dad. I have friends who have (love to you both, you know who you are) and I can only imagine. To have to think of losing a parent at this age is just unacceptable to me. He's in somewhat of denial himself. Well, seriously how could one NOT be in denial on some level. But we're all thinking positively.
He'll be having surgery again on Friday, so any good thoughts you can pass along would be much appreciated.
Bladder cancer. Sucks, but what can you do. He's had one surgery already and goes in again this Friday for another resection. After that he starts a course of BCG for 6 weeks, don't ask me to spell out what BCG means, I'd have to look it up again. At this point, it's in the wait and see stage until after this next surgery and treatment. We are hoping for good news, of course.
I haven't really dealt with the emotions of this. My mom called me at work after the initial diagnosis and I stayed strong on the phone for her, but immediately broke down for a couple minutes afterward. But since then, I've honestly stuffed it way back into the deep recesses of my brain, and heart. Life has been too hectic to even contemplate the possibilities and I simply haven't had time or the shoulder to cry on with the hubby working so much lately. So, I'm going to try and deal with it this week. That's a goal. Sounds weird, but for me it's pretty big. Just ask my husband. It's been driving him crazy that I'm keeping this bottled up.
We've known for a while now, but he hasn't wanted to tell family until now. He sprung the news this weekend. Can you just imagine that conversation? Seriously horrendous. "Hi mom & dad, I have cancer. Could you pass the coffee please?" They broached the subject with humor, which is just totally our family. And then my mom told our side of the family too. So, it's not a secret anymore. Whew. That was one secret that majorly sucked keeping.
I'm scared. Scared for my dad, my mom, and for our family. He's really my step-dad, but he's my dad in every sense of the word. And I can't imagine not having him in our lives. He was a godsend for my mom and I. She will be lost without him and that makes me feel so many emotions that I just don't want to feel. I've been trying to not go to the doom and gloom of it all, but that's my greatest fear. That I will lose my dad. I have friends who have (love to you both, you know who you are) and I can only imagine. To have to think of losing a parent at this age is just unacceptable to me. He's in somewhat of denial himself. Well, seriously how could one NOT be in denial on some level. But we're all thinking positively.
He'll be having surgery again on Friday, so any good thoughts you can pass along would be much appreciated.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Thankfulness Today
Today I am thankful for:
-my children sleeping in until 7am
-vacation days
-my children are healthy
-spring seems to have sprung
-my children sleeping in until 7am
-vacation days
-my children are healthy
-spring seems to have sprung
Thursday, March 19, 2009
The Stuffing of the Mouth
]Yes, that is my daughter. Eating. Normal Food. Not anxious.
SHE'S EATING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We saw the therapist again last week Thurs and that seemed to be the day of the turnaround. Ariana started eating and hasn't really looked back. Can you sense my relief pouring through the screen?
Sunday, March 15, 2009
Busy, LIke Bees Making Honey
My dear husband, oh...what's his name? Oh yeah, Jason. Well, he's been working. A. Lot. I commented to him as he came home this afernoon that he is more like my boyfriend, who stops by to visit and spend the night. And since we are both exhausted, it's like I'm wearing one of those purity rings. You know what I'm talking about. The one that the Jonas brothers wear. Even when they are sucking face with a chic, ahem I hope that doesn't lead to intercourse. Yikes, that would be a teen idol scandal.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So, it's been so long since me and my boyfriend (hubby) have had r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s, I think I may have become a virgin again. Come on, stop laughing. I'm serious.
Yes, I'm talking about sex. As in my own personal sex life. So don't read any further if you don't want to hear about my birds & bees, or lack thereof.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, what does that mean for my girlie parts? Are they old & musty or hankering for some lovin'? I can say it's more likely the former, I think I saw a moth fly out of there the other day. Okay, I'm kidding. But that was funny, wasn't it.
This work stuff should slow down soon for him. Hopefully. If I don't update my blog for a few days, you know it's because we're exploring caves.
Goodnight. That's all I got for ya. Enjoy the laughs.
Where was I? Oh yeah. So, it's been so long since me and my boyfriend (hubby) have had r-e-l-a-t-i-o-n-s, I think I may have become a virgin again. Come on, stop laughing. I'm serious.
Yes, I'm talking about sex. As in my own personal sex life. So don't read any further if you don't want to hear about my birds & bees, or lack thereof.
They say absence makes the heart grow fonder. Well, what does that mean for my girlie parts? Are they old & musty or hankering for some lovin'? I can say it's more likely the former, I think I saw a moth fly out of there the other day. Okay, I'm kidding. But that was funny, wasn't it.
This work stuff should slow down soon for him. Hopefully. If I don't update my blog for a few days, you know it's because we're exploring caves.
Goodnight. That's all I got for ya. Enjoy the laughs.
Her favorite commercial
She can watch, and sing, this ALL the time. And every time she does, I laugh hysterically.
Alive but getting my rear kicked
I've been meaning to post an update on Ariana and life in general, but time is not my friend. Although I will admit to spending a bit too much time on Facebook. Sorry, my bloggie friends. In the meantime, here's my feel good thought for the day....
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Therapy #2
We saw the counselor last week and I forgot to write about it. We met with her as a group for about 15 minutes and then she spent the rest of the time with Ariana 1-on-1. Her goal is to help us teach Ariana tools on how to effectively manage anxiety/stress/fear. At this point, we have nothing. We try to talk her down when she's in a state of anxiety or fear, but it takes a while if we can get through to her at all. Thankfully, things don't escalate very often but when they do...watch out.
The counselor is concerned that if Ariana doesn't figure out how to deal with this that she could potentially develop an anxiety disorder or even OCD later on in life. Which is one of my greatest fears and something we want to avoid for obvious reasons.
The pain of not being able to help your child sucks. Plain and simple. To not know what to do to help her, or comfort her. To have her get "in a mood" and have tempers & patience tested. Things are extremely stressful at the moment in our lives and that doesn't help this situation at all. There are moments I feel like she will never eat again, even though the counselor is hopeful this can be resolved in a short amount of time. I'm tired of fighting with Ariana over little things. Things that will probably always be an issue for her. Picking out clothes and getting dressed is an issue. Some days it's smooth as a baby's bottom and other days it's like Hell just ripped open and some demon inhabited my child. Not in a scary demon kind of way, but in a way that she can't control frustration, etc.
I just want her to fucking eat. The counselor does not want us to talk about it with her, and to keep it low key. We're trying, but it's really damn difficult.
Next appointment is tomorrow. Hopefully we'll have something to come home with technique-wise.
The counselor is concerned that if Ariana doesn't figure out how to deal with this that she could potentially develop an anxiety disorder or even OCD later on in life. Which is one of my greatest fears and something we want to avoid for obvious reasons.
The pain of not being able to help your child sucks. Plain and simple. To not know what to do to help her, or comfort her. To have her get "in a mood" and have tempers & patience tested. Things are extremely stressful at the moment in our lives and that doesn't help this situation at all. There are moments I feel like she will never eat again, even though the counselor is hopeful this can be resolved in a short amount of time. I'm tired of fighting with Ariana over little things. Things that will probably always be an issue for her. Picking out clothes and getting dressed is an issue. Some days it's smooth as a baby's bottom and other days it's like Hell just ripped open and some demon inhabited my child. Not in a scary demon kind of way, but in a way that she can't control frustration, etc.
I just want her to fucking eat. The counselor does not want us to talk about it with her, and to keep it low key. We're trying, but it's really damn difficult.
Next appointment is tomorrow. Hopefully we'll have something to come home with technique-wise.
Tooth Fairy Visit
Ariana had a big moment this weekend...she lost her first tooth. And sakes alive, that girl was excited. Pre-6am excited. She went to bed with it hanging on by the smallest piece of gumline possible and came running into our room before 6am when it fell out.
Monday, March 2, 2009
Just what I needed to read
Strength partnered with tenderness makes for an unbeatable combination.
~Maya Angelou
~Maya Angelou
Sunday, March 1, 2009
Ready for Spring
Dear Mother Nature,
We are tired of snow and cold. Please don't tease us anymore with the birds singing while the sun is shining hints of spring. It makes it that much more unbearable when the 4.5 inches drops on us like the other day or that the wind bites at all nakedness that one cannot possibly cover up when going outdoors. It's March. Time for the red to rise on the thermometer and the slushy wetness to give us something else to bitch about. Could you please check with that damn Groundhog again? I think he got it wrong.
Signed,
Someone who thinks it's colder than a witch's tit ;-)
We are tired of snow and cold. Please don't tease us anymore with the birds singing while the sun is shining hints of spring. It makes it that much more unbearable when the 4.5 inches drops on us like the other day or that the wind bites at all nakedness that one cannot possibly cover up when going outdoors. It's March. Time for the red to rise on the thermometer and the slushy wetness to give us something else to bitch about. Could you please check with that damn Groundhog again? I think he got it wrong.
Signed,
Someone who thinks it's colder than a witch's tit ;-)
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