Tuesday, February 6, 2007
Growing Up
We got the letter last week. The one that allows us to register Ariana for 4yo kindergarten. She is growing up so fast. I can't believe she will be four this year. My little guppy is turning into a full-fledged girl. She is into dresses and make-up all of a sudden. I admit it's driving me a bit batty. She still is a daredevil, but she prefers to wear a dress while she's jumping off the couch or performing her "favorite" trick. It's amazing to see her grow and learn new things.
Facing Fears
Most people know that I was induced with Phoenix due to gestational hypertension. My pregnancy with him was wrought with fears and anxieties that many do not understand. Unless you've been through preeclampsia, and a subsequent pregnancy, you just can't know what it is like. So I was estatic to get my induction date; a date after which I didn't have to be anxious and fear the worst anymore. I had prepared myself for the worst and hoped for the best.
The day of his birth was a wondrous, and scary day. We were aware of the risks of induction and of preeclampsia, but when something happens you find out you weren't as prepared as you thought. What many do not know is that I was facing an emergency C-section due to a possible placental abruption. There is a strong association between placental abruption and preeclampsia. But it is something I never contemplated having to think about. A placental abruption is a serious condition in which the placenta partially or completely separates from the uterus before the baby's born. The condition can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients, and cause severe bleeding that can be dangerous to both mother and baby.
When it came time for my OB to break my water, he did so and the worries began. My amniotic fluid was blood tinged and the bleeding continued. He ran labs to see if they would reveal a placental abruption. During this time, Phoenix was starting to have slight deccelerations and a scalp monitor was placed to keep an eye on him. I had an OB nurse and an OB tech with me pretty much all the time from here on until birth. One was watching the monitor closely at most times. It got to the point where they started to prep me for a C/S. I had to remove my makeup (hey I wanted to look nice as I was pretty out of it for Ariana's birth) and was even shaved. I knew what a placental abruption was and what it could mean, but I knew Jason did not. So while I was starting to freak out, I knew I had to stay calm so I didn't cause him extra alarm. They brought scrubs for him to put on, but I knew that if things took a turn for the worst, he would not be allowed in the OR and I would be placed under anesthesia. So, I stuffed my fear and tried not to let it show.
So here I was thinking I had avoided a drama-filled labor & birth without having developed HELLP again. And I was facing something I didn’t even want to think of. There are mom’s on the Preeclampsia Foundation website who have lost their babies due to placental abruption and they all raced through my head that day. I was so afraid. Things eventually subsided somewhat and I was able to avoid the C/S. I progressed rather quickly at then end and things went well. I had my baby boy who was healthy, and my blood pressures were returning to normal. I refused to allow myself to think about what could have happened.
I hardly thought of that situation over the last months, but last Oct we were watching one of our favorite shows, ER. One of the characters, Abby, ended up with a placental abruption at around 30 weeks, I believe. The situations were different, but that triggered something in me. The two-part show covered the baby’s NICU stay and Abby’s recovery. I sat there with tears rolling down my face, silent with so many thoughts running through my head. Jason noticed I was crying and at first thought it was just because of the storyline. He soon found out that my fears had surfaced. I faced what I had been afraid of at that time and came to terms with it, somewhat.
Denial is such a powerful thing.
The day of his birth was a wondrous, and scary day. We were aware of the risks of induction and of preeclampsia, but when something happens you find out you weren't as prepared as you thought. What many do not know is that I was facing an emergency C-section due to a possible placental abruption. There is a strong association between placental abruption and preeclampsia. But it is something I never contemplated having to think about. A placental abruption is a serious condition in which the placenta partially or completely separates from the uterus before the baby's born. The condition can deprive the baby of oxygen and nutrients, and cause severe bleeding that can be dangerous to both mother and baby.
When it came time for my OB to break my water, he did so and the worries began. My amniotic fluid was blood tinged and the bleeding continued. He ran labs to see if they would reveal a placental abruption. During this time, Phoenix was starting to have slight deccelerations and a scalp monitor was placed to keep an eye on him. I had an OB nurse and an OB tech with me pretty much all the time from here on until birth. One was watching the monitor closely at most times. It got to the point where they started to prep me for a C/S. I had to remove my makeup (hey I wanted to look nice as I was pretty out of it for Ariana's birth) and was even shaved. I knew what a placental abruption was and what it could mean, but I knew Jason did not. So while I was starting to freak out, I knew I had to stay calm so I didn't cause him extra alarm. They brought scrubs for him to put on, but I knew that if things took a turn for the worst, he would not be allowed in the OR and I would be placed under anesthesia. So, I stuffed my fear and tried not to let it show.
So here I was thinking I had avoided a drama-filled labor & birth without having developed HELLP again. And I was facing something I didn’t even want to think of. There are mom’s on the Preeclampsia Foundation website who have lost their babies due to placental abruption and they all raced through my head that day. I was so afraid. Things eventually subsided somewhat and I was able to avoid the C/S. I progressed rather quickly at then end and things went well. I had my baby boy who was healthy, and my blood pressures were returning to normal. I refused to allow myself to think about what could have happened.
I hardly thought of that situation over the last months, but last Oct we were watching one of our favorite shows, ER. One of the characters, Abby, ended up with a placental abruption at around 30 weeks, I believe. The situations were different, but that triggered something in me. The two-part show covered the baby’s NICU stay and Abby’s recovery. I sat there with tears rolling down my face, silent with so many thoughts running through my head. Jason noticed I was crying and at first thought it was just because of the storyline. He soon found out that my fears had surfaced. I faced what I had been afraid of at that time and came to terms with it, somewhat.
Denial is such a powerful thing.
Thursday, February 1, 2007
National Wear Red Day
Is tomorrow, Feb. 2nd!!! Please wear red to support the fight against heart disease!
You can find out more by visiting: http://www.goredforwomen.org/
As someone who has lost a family member to heart disease, and has others affected by heart disease, please lend your support. Love your heart!
You can find out more by visiting: http://www.goredforwomen.org/
As someone who has lost a family member to heart disease, and has others affected by heart disease, please lend your support. Love your heart!
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Hot Under the Collar
This morning I got a bit hot under the collar in regards to a comment made by DH. I snapped back that he was being a snob, and then he was upset because I wasn't allowing him to have an opinion. I'm sorry I snapped, and we both are coming from different points of view here. The comment was about people who work at fast food joints, and that's all I'll go into.
Here's my thing. If you haven't been poor and lived not knowing where the money will come from to pay rent and buy groceries, then I have a very difficult time when people judge those who are living that way. Are some living that way because they prefer it? Sure, but let me assure you that it is not the life of luxury that some would make it sound like. Having to use food stamps (in those days anyway) and getting medical assistance to pay for doctor visits is not fun. I vividly remember paying with food stamps at the grocery store and the looks that the cashier or the person in line behind us would give my mom. I remember the blue paper card you had to give the medical receptionist for insurance and everyone knowing what that card was. It meant you were poor and couldn't afford health insurance or food on your own.
I've heard poeple say, "oh they can just go get a job" about someone on assistance. Well, it's not that simple. Many are women, mothers in fact. Well, there is the issue of daycare. They need money to get the kids into daycare, but can't pay for daycare until they have a job. And they can't work the job until they have daycare. And if they work at night, who will watch the kids. You have to find a nighttime sitter or daycare person. Maybe the person was laid off from their job. Maybe they had a major medical illness that bankrupted them or caused them to lose their job. Or what about the woman who has been a stay-at-home mom for years and something happens where she is on her own, she has no higher education possibly. Where does she start? Sometimes working at a fast food joint is all they can get. But you know what, they are working. Why does it matter where?
The first time I realized we were poor was when I was so excited to have gotten a new pair of jeans. Then when I got to school and was showing them off, someone asked where I got them from. See, they were purchased at Goodwill. And then I found out that other people don't buy clothes at Goodwill. What a memory, huh?
I grew up loved and cherished. I know that I was rich in so many other things, things that money could not buy. Money is not everything. Yes, it helps if you have it. And I enjoy being able to buy things for my kids that my mom couldn't buy for me when I was little. But what I want to pass on to my kids is that no matter where you come from, they are special and can do anything they want when they grow up. I want them to be proud of themselves and do good things for others. At a time in our society when "things" are important, I fear the loss of humanity at times. Being kind to another, simply smiling at someone can change that person's day.
So, if I get a bit hot under the collar when someone talks about "those" people in poverty, that's just how it is. My mom did everything she could to keep me clothed and fed, and eventually work her way off governmental assistance. The majority of individuals who need assistance may just need a helping hand to get back on their feet, who knows? You don't know their personal situation so please do not judge them.
Here's my thing. If you haven't been poor and lived not knowing where the money will come from to pay rent and buy groceries, then I have a very difficult time when people judge those who are living that way. Are some living that way because they prefer it? Sure, but let me assure you that it is not the life of luxury that some would make it sound like. Having to use food stamps (in those days anyway) and getting medical assistance to pay for doctor visits is not fun. I vividly remember paying with food stamps at the grocery store and the looks that the cashier or the person in line behind us would give my mom. I remember the blue paper card you had to give the medical receptionist for insurance and everyone knowing what that card was. It meant you were poor and couldn't afford health insurance or food on your own.
I've heard poeple say, "oh they can just go get a job" about someone on assistance. Well, it's not that simple. Many are women, mothers in fact. Well, there is the issue of daycare. They need money to get the kids into daycare, but can't pay for daycare until they have a job. And they can't work the job until they have daycare. And if they work at night, who will watch the kids. You have to find a nighttime sitter or daycare person. Maybe the person was laid off from their job. Maybe they had a major medical illness that bankrupted them or caused them to lose their job. Or what about the woman who has been a stay-at-home mom for years and something happens where she is on her own, she has no higher education possibly. Where does she start? Sometimes working at a fast food joint is all they can get. But you know what, they are working. Why does it matter where?
The first time I realized we were poor was when I was so excited to have gotten a new pair of jeans. Then when I got to school and was showing them off, someone asked where I got them from. See, they were purchased at Goodwill. And then I found out that other people don't buy clothes at Goodwill. What a memory, huh?
I grew up loved and cherished. I know that I was rich in so many other things, things that money could not buy. Money is not everything. Yes, it helps if you have it. And I enjoy being able to buy things for my kids that my mom couldn't buy for me when I was little. But what I want to pass on to my kids is that no matter where you come from, they are special and can do anything they want when they grow up. I want them to be proud of themselves and do good things for others. At a time in our society when "things" are important, I fear the loss of humanity at times. Being kind to another, simply smiling at someone can change that person's day.
So, if I get a bit hot under the collar when someone talks about "those" people in poverty, that's just how it is. My mom did everything she could to keep me clothed and fed, and eventually work her way off governmental assistance. The majority of individuals who need assistance may just need a helping hand to get back on their feet, who knows? You don't know their personal situation so please do not judge them.
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
I feel brain dead...
and I'm sure it's due to lack of sleep. ;-) The other night I lay awake thinking of all these things that I was going to type up. Well instead of just getting up and doing so, I continued to lay there just thinking. Morning came, and I can't remember what the hell I was going to write. I had it all planned out. ARGH!!!!
We have just over a week and the kiddos will be spending the night at grammy & papa's house! J and I can get some uninterrupted sleep!! Cel-e-bra-ta-tion, come-on! It's the little things that excite. ;-)
We have just over a week and the kiddos will be spending the night at grammy & papa's house! J and I can get some uninterrupted sleep!! Cel-e-bra-ta-tion, come-on! It's the little things that excite. ;-)
Seriously?
The other week I read an article discussing what some politicians thought of the current situation in Iraq. One noted individual, who I genuinely like, said something to the effect that if they knew then what they know now they would have voted against the war. Well duh! Who the heck wouldn't? I found the statement incredulous. For someone who I consider an intelligent person, I find the idea idiotic.
Most people know that I do not discuss politics with others, so this post is a new branch for me. I consider myself an independent, but do admit that I tend to lean to the left. That said, this is not an opening to continue political discussions where others can tell me my thinking is wrong. The reason I do not discuss politics is that while certain people claim they want an "open" dialogue, what ends up happening is my ideas and thoughts are criticized and said to be incorrect or deluded thinking. It's all in the perspective.
Most people know that I do not discuss politics with others, so this post is a new branch for me. I consider myself an independent, but do admit that I tend to lean to the left. That said, this is not an opening to continue political discussions where others can tell me my thinking is wrong. The reason I do not discuss politics is that while certain people claim they want an "open" dialogue, what ends up happening is my ideas and thoughts are criticized and said to be incorrect or deluded thinking. It's all in the perspective.
Wednesday, January 3, 2007
Happy Freakin' New Year
Well, our family rung in the New Year with sickness. All of us had something. Let's hope the rest of the year is full of good health.
Saturday, December 23, 2006
Happy Christmas
The Christmas season. I adore it. The joy, the love in people's hearts, spending time with family. I have so much to be thankful for and to cherish this holiday season. I have two beautiful, healthy children and a wonderful husband.
This has been a fun season so far with a new baby and with Ariana understanding more and more about the holidays. At preschool they have discussed how different countries around the world celebrate the holidays, and she's enjoyed finding baby Jesus when we drive around viewing Christmas decorations. Phoenix is something to behold himself, this Christmas. He is almost ready to crawl! He is exploring his world and is soaking in knowledge. He learned to do "raspberries" this week and likes to make screeching noises. The kids will scream at each other and laugh. It's quite a sight to see. Those two kiddos are a blessed light in my life.
Happy Christmas to all! I hope you've all been good and Santa will be bringing you something other than coal.
This has been a fun season so far with a new baby and with Ariana understanding more and more about the holidays. At preschool they have discussed how different countries around the world celebrate the holidays, and she's enjoyed finding baby Jesus when we drive around viewing Christmas decorations. Phoenix is something to behold himself, this Christmas. He is almost ready to crawl! He is exploring his world and is soaking in knowledge. He learned to do "raspberries" this week and likes to make screeching noises. The kids will scream at each other and laugh. It's quite a sight to see. Those two kiddos are a blessed light in my life.
Happy Christmas to all! I hope you've all been good and Santa will be bringing you something other than coal.
Monday, December 18, 2006
Some holiday fun that helps out
http://www.popularfront.com/snowdays/
For every snowflake made a donation will be made to the salvation army.
http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1024.html
Say thank you to our troops! You can send a free postcard to a soldier stationed overseas.
For every snowflake made a donation will be made to the salvation army.
http://www.letssaythanks.com/Home1024.html
Say thank you to our troops! You can send a free postcard to a soldier stationed overseas.
Sleep
At times I think my children are clueless when it comes to sleep. Naptimes have become a battleground with Ana. The little guy barely takes longer than a 15-20 m nap at a time. When I can get them both down for the count together, it's a great day. Or on some days, like today, I'm frustrated and pissed off because neither one is sleeping and therefore is crabby. ;-) I love my kids, I do. But sleep is not on their radar during the day. And some nights. Bless their hearts, both kids have slept through the night the last few nights.
It's amazing how much we treasure sleep now. Also, how we can function as human beings when sleep is in short supply. What I wouldn't give for a non-interrupted night of sleep and a nap of my own during the day.
It's amazing how much we treasure sleep now. Also, how we can function as human beings when sleep is in short supply. What I wouldn't give for a non-interrupted night of sleep and a nap of my own during the day.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Tis the Season...
....for donations to organization close to our hearts.
If you are trying to finish up those donations for the year, please think about donating to the Preeclampsia Foundation or the HELLP Syndrome Society in our names. Both websites are listed on my "places I visit" to the right.
An easy way to donate is to use www.goodsearch.com. Enter in the charity of your choice (both the PF & the HSS are listed) and use the site as your search engine. Your charity earns a penny for each search.
Thank you!
If you are trying to finish up those donations for the year, please think about donating to the Preeclampsia Foundation or the HELLP Syndrome Society in our names. Both websites are listed on my "places I visit" to the right.
An easy way to donate is to use www.goodsearch.com. Enter in the charity of your choice (both the PF & the HSS are listed) and use the site as your search engine. Your charity earns a penny for each search.
Thank you!
Thursday, December 14, 2006
Disney
We've finally agreed on our next Disney trip! It's a ways off (fall 2008), but I'm excited there is a trip to the mouse on the horizon.
Tuesday, December 5, 2006
Not so nice guy
I attended a sentencing this morning from a case that I worked with at my previous job. It was one that I worked with from the start and the client was quite memorable. The guy is a bad, bad man and will be in prison for many years to come, thankfully. His statement to the courts was a complete joke. I am so proud of * for sharing her statement. She has shown courage and strength and I am proud of her. She's had a difficult road with many bumps, but hopefully is off to a new life now.
Friday, December 1, 2006
Jason
I have the best husband. While he's not perfect (who is?), he's perfect for me.
I am amazed daily at how great he is with children. It's one of the things that I love about him and noticed when we met. When I see him interacting with our kids I love him even more. He helps out around the house. Of course, not as much as I'd like, but I guess I can't complain too much when I hear what other men do, or don't do. He helps with laundry, dishes, picking up, etc. He offers opportunities for me to get out of the house to do things so I stay sane. ;-) I appreciate that so much. He has always supported me with my decisions.
He's so passionate. At times it can drive me crazy, and I wish he could choose a different target, but nonetheless he's passionate about things. Packer football, a-hole drivers, the environment. He's caring, tender, hardworking, loving, sexy, geez I could go on and on.
I love him. I love him dearly, and do not know what I would do without him. He is my best friend and a person who I know I can count on for anything. He is my rock.
I am amazed daily at how great he is with children. It's one of the things that I love about him and noticed when we met. When I see him interacting with our kids I love him even more. He helps out around the house. Of course, not as much as I'd like, but I guess I can't complain too much when I hear what other men do, or don't do. He helps with laundry, dishes, picking up, etc. He offers opportunities for me to get out of the house to do things so I stay sane. ;-) I appreciate that so much. He has always supported me with my decisions.
He's so passionate. At times it can drive me crazy, and I wish he could choose a different target, but nonetheless he's passionate about things. Packer football, a-hole drivers, the environment. He's caring, tender, hardworking, loving, sexy, geez I could go on and on.
I love him. I love him dearly, and do not know what I would do without him. He is my best friend and a person who I know I can count on for anything. He is my rock.
Sunday, November 26, 2006
Touching Moment
I was reminded the other day of something remarkable that happened about a month ago. Ariana received a coin from her grandpa and I was lifting down her piggy bank for her when she asked for Phoenix's. She wanted to put her coin into Phoenix's bank since he didn't have much money. I told her that was very kind and generous, and that I was very proud of her for thinking of someone else. It warmed my heart to see her valuing someone else's feelings.
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