You've been selected to win a crib of crap!
Yes, I've been the lovely recipient of this a couple times now compliments of our younger child, who shall now be called the Poop Master. When he lays down for a nap, he decides to undress and poop in the crib. Looooovvvely. The other day he decided to take off his pooey diaper and play in it. (Jeez, isn't being a parent SOOO much fun) I called the father of this child at work and left a message stating that I didn't want him coming home to complain of a shitty day, as I was having the truly shitty day. ;) Usually when Jason hears of his son's exploits, I hear "I'm sorry dear" with a small chuckle.
Well, today's my turn to chuckle. Dried on poo. On the sheets, the crib railing, our child's bottom, hands, and face. YES! And I wasn't the lucky winner!
You can now address myself and Jason as....