A change in the heart

I love reading Mary Ann Radamacher’s work, and signed up for her “Phrase of the Day” that comes by email. It’s a small blip in the day, but one that most often makes me smile and thing about what the relevancy of the phrase is to my life and how to make changes for the better.

Today’s phrase is “Open the door to chance. whisper to forever, let s now go dance and leave the dishes for later.” And it touched my soul.

I have always tried to be a positive, glass half full, type of person. But I have lost connection with that over time, and I miss it. I hate being negative, I think it damages the mind and the soul. And this phrase today jarred me back into the the mindset I want to live in.

Lately, I’ve been so caught up in the To Do lists and the “shit, I forgot to do that” mode, I am not enjoying life. Hearing the tinkling music of my children’s peels of delight, feeling the belly shaking laughter bubble up and burst through my lips, and feeling the sunshine on my face with a warmth like no other. I have not fully appreciated those things and it makes me feel an emptiness inside that cannot be explained. The ache that tells me life can be more.

But no more.

I am take back joy, discovery, light-heartedness, and so much more. I must continue to strive to do better, to appreciate everything I have, and to work towards things that make me happy. I still may not have time enough to do everything on my list, but that’s okay. It will still be there tomorrow, and let’s be honest, the day after or next week when I finally get to it. I will accept that I am not superwoman and cannot do it all myself. I will ask for help when I need it. I will jump in the pool with my clothes on, and run through the sprinkler. And lay under the stars and make wishes.

We tell our children anything is possible. To reach for the stars, they can be whatever they want to be, to enjoy being children. I want to live by that motto as an adult yet too.