I got news this week of something very cool. My uncle had given up a child 22 years ago. He was 19, seperated from his wife, dad to a 1yo, and a woman he was with got preggers. She wanted to give the baby up and he didn't. But under pressure he signed the papers. Well, her adoptive mother called my dad this week looking for his brother. Wow. "K" as I'll call her, is now 22 years old and is looking to connect with her biological parents. It sounds as if she's lived a great life with her adoptive family and they love her very much.
So, he is calling her today to talk. How cool is that? They've been searching for him for the last year apparently, and now a connection will be made again. I hope the phone call goes well, and they plan a meet. What a shock to get that phone call, huh? But a good shock.
Well, my parents have both brought up something about how it would possibly affect me. Or something of that nature. I'm not sure if they are wondering if I ever wanted to meet my biological father's family, or worried that I'll be bothered by this situation. I'm not. Let's get one thing straight. That man is my sperm donor, nothing more. For those who don't know, my mom became pregnant with me as a teenager. He did not stick by her and caused some pretty awful things to happen. I guess he did come to see me in the hospital but that's about it. When I was younger, I did wonder about him. But never really felt a strong pull that I should *know* him. I always felt that if I wasn't wanted back then, then shit on him. Does that sound like unresolved anger? It may, but I really don't care. I know his name and where his parents live.
What I have wanted in the past is a medical history. I have a entire half of my biology that I know almost nothing about. And with the strong heart disease on my mom's side, it would be nice to know if I'm looking at a double whammy from the genetics department.
But as for meeting him and his family. Nope, do want to. They had their chance and they lost it. I'm sure I have half siblings out there too. There was a brief period when I was more just pondering the fact that I have this whole other biological family out there. It's just a fact of my life, and it's part of who I am today. I grew up in a single parent home, living on assistance, and my mom working late night and really growing up with me. It sucked at times, but it helped shape me. I know what it's like to have to pay for food with food stamps, not know where your next meal is coming from, or to be excited to get a new pair of pants only to learn that most people don't shop at Goodwill. For me, a one parent family was my life. Some people had dads and some didn't. I've never regretted not knowing my bio father and I don't intend to.
I have a dad who loves me and my mom. He came into our lives when I was 11. He is my dad in every way, shape, and form. He was there to drive me to a friends house in high school when a boyfriend broke up with me and gave me tissues. He was there to walk me down the aisle. He has always been there for me. I think that if I didn't have him, I may feel differently about my bio father. Thank you to him for coming into our lives.