Wednesday, April 2, 2008


Our state refund came today, so we took the kids out for dinner and popped into Target. What a bloody nightmare. First off, let me say I have raging PMS. It's getting really bad, so I have zero patience and my level of parenting seems to dive a bit.

Dinner went okay for the most part. After we got a promise from the sassy child that she would indeed eat the pizza this time, we decided to go to the most delicious pizza joint in town. The deal was she had to eat one piece in order to go in their game room. Just one piece. And their pizza is cut into small squares, so it really is a small piece. She wouldn't do it. She had almost 4 garlic breads before so I wasn't all that hyped up about the pizza. But my dear husband was. A small tantrum ensued and a bargain was made. She ate one tiny piece. A sliver of the square. Fine, whatever. I hate parenting at moments like these.

Then it's on to Target where all hell breaks loose. When I'm shopping by myself with the kids they listen fairly well. Monkey boy is a bit more difficult to deal with since he wants to NOT ride in the cart anymore. But I manage. When all four of us go shopping, it's awful. As soon as we walk in the door, shit starts to fly. "I want popcorn." Monkey boy doesn't want to sit in the seat of the cart. Sassy pants is walking backward, in front of the cart. We make it through the kids shoes alright and then it's onto the clothing. I've lost my mind. I'm looking at tank tops & shorts for the kids. Jason has Phoenix, and Ariana is running around the children's department. No communication between the two of us rentals so we both seem to think the other has her in their sights. I have to start counting. Multiple times. Jason asks, "how much do you have to do yet?" in this exasperated voice. Shut up, jerky. I've done this by myself countless times. For some damn reason, the kids are hellacious when both of us are with. We zoom over to the bed sheets where I discover we hold very different opinions on sheet quality. He's fine with the 200 thread count that feels like sandpaper to me, and is on sale for $26.99. I fall in love with the 400 thread count set that matches our new comforter perfectly for $65.99. We leave with no sheets. I zip into the girls section to look at some clothes there when I hear the sigh. Ladies, you know the one. The "are you fucking finished yet" sigh. So, I ram my cart through the damn too small aisles between the racks and get in line to pay.

We are all crabby as we make our way to the van. At home, the kids are hyped up and we want them in bad asap. She won't get pj's, then tells me she's going to pee on me. Phoenix wants to be held. Ariana won't pick out stories. Jason tells me to settle down cuz I'm yelling at her, and 1 minute later he yells at her. It's these wonderful family moments that frustrate me and I remember why animals eat their young.


Aunt Becky said...

Dude, it's got to be something in the air. Seriously, I was thinking of leaving the kids in the backyard to fend for themselves.

Want to kill myself right now.

Anonymous said...

I think we are all in the same boat right now, this weather and time of year is bringing everyone down. I refuse to go shopping with my kids unlesss I absolutely have to.


Anonymous said...

LMAO!! Sorry, but it's easy to laugh when it's happening to someone else, but I can sooo relate because I've been there-many times. I'm PMS'ing too, and last night, I just said "screw it", here's a quick peck, tuck your own ass into your own bed. ;)
I was done.

Why is it that kids make me WANT to get my period? The build-up just sucks! Then again, a period also tells me at least I'm NOT pregnant! ;)

Hope today gets better, good luck on the TAT!!!

The Vivian Family said...

oh my gosh, please forgive that I giggled through reading that. I had flashes of my trip to walmart yesterday. ;)

Kwana said...

Been there, done that.
Got the sigh... UGH.

Christie O. said...

ohmigod that sounds hellacious, but it was one heck of a funny read, does that count? why is it that kids are monsters when dad's around? i don't get it. and hahaha, eat their young. you're too funny!

Amy said...

Sounds like a typical shopping trip with my DH...and I agree with the others, I was laughing through this but I think only because I can really honestly relate to it. (((hugs)))