Thursday, October 16, 2008

Odd Question

Have you thought about what type of memorial service you'd like to have when you die? I know it's rather morbid, but logistically I'd like to know what my hubby wants should something happen to him. I know a person is dead and can't complain, but I think the memorial should reflect the person.

My mom mentioned the other day she'd love to have a song about The Reaper played, but wondered if that would be too morbid for some. I say, play what you want. If they truly know you, then your loved ones shouldn't care.

It's something I've thought about, but haven't really put down on paper. I know I should.

So, do you have something in mind or is there something you'd "roll over in your grave" about if your loved one planned for your funeral?

4 comments:

Dawn said...

I've absolutely thought about mine, Eric's and my mom's plans. I know songs I'll play and want played at mine. I just don't quite know where I want to be put in the end.

I'm executor to mom's will, so I have gone over all this with her, and will absolutely honor her wishes, which are very much her.

Eric...coffee can and a shovel. ;)

The only thing I do disagree with, is a funeral and the burial really are for the remaining survivors more than the dead person (I think). Who will visit? Who will maintain the site...The dead person won't care, will they?

~Denise~ said...

Dawn, I think that's a key issue for the burial piece of it. It's a place for the family to come and visit the person. It's not for the deceased, IMO.

That's something that I've thought about, even though I plan on being cremated, do I want a plot that my kids can come visit? Would that help them? Or could we do that in some other manner? I'll always be with them, burial plot or not.

Robyn said...

Cremation for this chick. My husband's mom and dad were cremated, and his dad's ashes are buried with a headstone on the family property. My husband wants to be cremated too.

My totally inappropriate DH told me that he would have played "Dust in the wind" at his mom's ashes sperading memorial service. Oy.

Dawn said...

I have visited Dad's site out of respect, he was cremated. I feel that when we go to Wissota and see the lake and the island where we spread some of his ashes, that's more of a remembrance I carry with me, since we grew up there and had such fond memories. I think having a stone, or place to go is still important, because my kids can see it and understand it on a different level. I also have visited my grandma who I never met, but seeing her stone was somehow significant.

I think either way, each of your kids may end up feeling differently about it, as well as the rest of your family and family yet to come.

It can vary so much, or heck, have Ana keep an urn on her mantle and hope it doesn't get knocked over and her cat pees on the ashes (think Meet the Parents). :)