jokester

My 7yo son LOVES to tell jokes.  Jokes that you can't help but laugh at because they make no sense whatsoever.  Knock knock jokes are his specialty.  Here is an example of one of this morning's jokes....

Him:  "Knock knock"

Me:  "Who's there?"

Him:  "Boob"

Me, pausing and giving him a look before I reply:  "Boob who?"

Him:  "Aren't you glad you don't have big boobs?"

This results in huge, belly-busting laughter on my part because 1) the joke makes no sense and 2) I have big boobs.  This joke led to a few jokes about butts and penises.  (He is in love with talking about "inappropriate" things right now.)  That led to me putting my mom hat on and reminding him to tell "clean" jokes.  And he replies with a joke about poop.  Which was doubling funny (or shall I say punny) and had me turning around so he couldn't see me smile.  Egads, that kid makes me smile.



PS.  Blogger tells me this is my 900th post.  I want to cross 1000 this year yet.  :)  Thanks for reading.

confusion, activism, relaxation, and more. oh my

I didn't feel well this morning, so I called in sick.  It's turned into a mental health wellness day as well.  I finished a delightful, "fluff" book this morning and decided to indulge in a documentary.  One yesterday and one today.  This morning, I watched Pink Ribbons, Inc.  I had told myself I'd relax until noon before showering and then doing some stuff while remaining relaxed.  Then I watched a show that addressed the commercialism of the breast cancer campaign.  I have had some feelings about said campaigns over the recent years, but have felt it was not something I should share as I have family & friends are are large supporters.

I thought the film was done well.  It was thought provoking, informational, and resourceful for me personally.  I took some notes and it got me thinking.  (Remember, that piece above where I shared I was intending to relax today?  Well, I don't do 'nothing' very well.)

• The "survivor" status.  Yes, I think individuals should be celebrating their living through cancer.  However, I am uncomfortable with the "survivor" message sent by the breast cancer awareness machines.  This is two-fold with the term "battle" as used in this situation.  Whether intentional or unintentionally, well-minded people talk about how this person "lost the battle" or "won her battle" with cancer.  What does that mean about those who die from cancer?  They weren't strong enough?  They weren't good enough?  Brave enough? I could go on and on.  
• Charlotte Haley is a woman who designed cards with salmon-colored ribbon on them to promote and encourage individuals to contact their government officials to request that more money be granted for cancer prevention.  Long story short,  Mrs. Haley didn't jump on board and the machine chose a different color.  I share this because Mrs. Haley was concerned with the commercialism of those involved.  And this story leads to one of my concerns and it is discussed in this film.  I admit I have purchased "pink" products.  I have thought to myself, it's better to purchase the pink item rather than the non-pink item because some money is going towards the cause.  That shit ended for me within the last 1-2 years.  Why should I buy a $20 water bottle in which only $1 is gifted to a breast cancer group?  So "I" can feel good?  So, I can show others how supportive of whatever group the piddly $1 went to?  Bullshit.  I'd rather give the entire $20 to an organization.

• Where does my money go?  As a donator and a volunteer for a non-profit, this is important to me.  I have made a stand to not donate to organizations who don't support the values and beliefs I have.  Okay, maybe 1-2 slip through because I want to support a friend's kid or something a friend is doing.  However, there are a few hot button issues I have firmly come to stand for....equal rights for all and a woman's ability to choose.  You may not agree with me and that's okay.  It's my money and not yours that I am deciding to spend.  :)  I don't support the Komen Foundation for remarks made by their leadership.  And that's okay.  I still support breast cancer research and support services, I just do it through a different avenue.  I am aware of a large tax exempt organization that has a legal team at it's ready to sue start-up non-profits if their tagline, logo, or whatever is too similar or is possibly infringing on their "copyright."  Who the fuck owns the pink ribbon anyway?  Who gives a shit?  Thanks for spending donor money to be assholes to another cause.  

• They discuss in the film about how little money is being aimed at cancer prevention.  If we aren't tackling what causes cancer and how to prevent it, how can we 'cure' it?  Are there multiple researchers working on the same thing?  Is someone doing a project that has already been done?  How can I look at all the research for myself and make sense of it?  
•  Who is sitting on the boards of these large machines?  Pharma companies who stand to benefit from treatment drugs?  Companies whose products have a correlation to cancer, even possibly causing cancer?  How does an organization realistically fund a research project on the effects of pesticides if a board member's company owns a pesticide company? 

• Why pink?  Pink is supposedly a 'feminine' color.  What does our society think pink represents?  I personally think of softness, comfort (in particular with the pastel-ly pink) and a "girl power" way for the hot pink, but in a middle school kind-of-way.  No color represents the experience of cancer.  I get that there has to be a color(s) for a campaign, but the pervasive nature of the pink campaign for breast cancer makes me want to vomit.  
•  Sometimes the message of positivity is too much.  Cancer fucking sucks.  Living with cancer, experiencing life with cancer is not easy or pretty.  I don't feel that individuals are not given the freedom to be angry.  Those affected by cancer are "supposed" to remain optimistic and not think of the worst.  How alone an individual may feel at times going through the journey of cancer?  Support means supporting people at the times of most desperate need, acknowledging the hurt and the anger, the good and the bad, meeting them where they are at.  

I stepped away in the middle of this post for a few hours and have returned, so some of my angry steam has flowed away.  :)  What I want to end with is what I took away from this documentary.  I am angry that these groups are not working with environmental groups.  The toxins we are injesting via pesticides, plastic, etc have to be having an effect on our bodies.  I am frustrated that our government by in large refuses to acknowledge we are poisoning ourselves and this earth, that they allow a company like the big M and their fucking soybeans to keep steamrolling our farmers and our citizens.  I am beyond pissed that our government can't get their shit together enough to look at legislating chemical companies and what potential dangers there may be, but wants to control my fucking reproductive system.  I learned today that there is a website that I can go to to learn about the beauty products I use (however, little that may be) or the sunscreen I put on myself & my kids and read a review of how safe that product is.  I found a website that I can read some research pieces on.  I was inspired that I can make changes in my own life to feel better about the products I use, the organizations I support, and learn more in general about breast cancer & the research being done on it. 

I sat there and applied it to my volunteer work and the walk I just coordinated this weekend.  How can I change the way I speak about preeclampsia.  What message do I send when I ask for support in the fight against preeclampsia.  Now, I recognize that preeclampsia and breast cancer are two different health situation.  But there were things I felt I could apply.  Being sure to honor those who are here after their preeclampsia experience as well as those who are not.  I can be better at sharing what research grant $ I fundraise for is actually going for.  I want to talk more about personal advocacy as it is something we don't do in our health care system.  We are taught to listen to the doctor, to not question, may be given grief or even pressured to not have a second opinion.  This weekend I met a woman who I firmly believe would not be here today on earth if she hadn't advocated for herself against a medical team who completely disregarded her, her concerns, and her symptoms.  Five years later, she questions them but not to their face.  I want to highlight how important support is.  Patient support is critical.  Support from others is equally as important. 

I have put together today that the larger picture of women's health and rights are important to me.  Whether it be prenatal care across the glove, sexual education of our young people, breast cancer, domestic violence, or preeclampsia.  Each is separate, but yet connected.  And there is something I can do.  I can continue to write my governmental officials about topics important to me, I can continue to donate to organizations I find worthy, I can discover new organizations I may wish to support, I can change the life of people.  Here or across the globe, I am an agent of change.

I learned that I can add a piece to my "about me" life description.  I am an activist.  For whatever the cause may be, if I believe in it I will do what I can to make a difference, no matter how small. 

a load of thankfulness

soooo, here goes a truck load of thankfulness.  be patient with me.  and read them all, i may sneak a gut-buster in there.  #you never know.


7 - i am really freakin' thankful for my iPhone.  completely rubbish thing to be thankful for, but i just love it.  so very much. 

8 - i unplugged from technology (besides our dvd & tv) for more hours than i expected to this last week.  it was full of awesomeness.  and i didn't miss it. 

9 - tonight i am very thankful for my large hospital mug i got when the boy child was in the hospital in jan.  it holds a fantastic amount of liquids.  could be a mixed drink or could be water, either way i can suck on that baby for a long time.  (did you laugh at that one?)

10 - i am extremely thankful that i am not ill.  my husband, on the other hand, is.  and somehow it is just as painful for me.

11 - we had a very bountiful thanksgiving meal and for that i am thankful.  thankful we could provide that for our family.  thanksgiving has not been a huge deal in my family, but we've carved (ha ha!) out our own little tradition in the last few years.

12 - i am incredibly thankful for friends who can make me laugh.  you know who you are.  the lightheartedness means more to me than you can ever know.

13 - the hubster, even though he is waaaayy annoying today with his illness, i am thankful for him.  we have weathered some really big storms and i know life is not easy with me, thanks for working with me to make this crazy life of ours work the best way for us.  i am not perfect and i make mistakes, but you have stuck by me and i appreciate that.

14 - i adore the movies.  and having gone to the movies twice within one week is spectacular!  the upcoming months will prove to be just as delightful with many movies on my "want-to-see" list.  nothing like the big screen.

15 - tampons are awesome.  i want to give thanks that pads are not part of my monthly attire.  (sorry, guys)  (ladies, you know what i am talking about)

16 - we are heading out on vacation this next week and i am very thankful about many a things about that vacay.  16A:  my dad's delta points getting us airfare  16B:  people watching at Disney, there's simply nothing better   16C:  the holidays at Disney, extra magical    16D:  no work for the week!

17 - my cousin and her partner are having a shindig next fall.  and they asked me to be a part of it.  how freakin' awesome, and i am so thankful for the both of them.  i have always supported marriage equality, however having those two in my life has allowed myself to grow with my support for equality.  i am thankful nikki has found the one and vice versa.  they make each other better people and are just plain fun to be around.

18 - my mom came across my grandfather's wedding band and she gave it to me last week.  while my grandparents divorced shortly after i was born and i do not recall them being together, i am very appreciative of the token.  something to keep on my person, if i wish, that is tangible.  he's been gone for 18 years. 

19 - i have chosen to look at my preeclampsia experience with gratitude.  i have met some amazing individuals as a result of my involvement with the PF and have been involved in some AWEsome things as a result.  i am able to appreciate my life and my children in a way I could never have dreamed of before.

20 - i am weird.  and i like it.  i never imagined being thankful for not usually being the odd person out, but in the last few years (in particular this year) i have embraced this and myself.  if you do not like it or accept me for who i am, that is your issue not mine.  i am a geek who loves star wars and lotr, a nerd who loves to read.  and acceptance is a beautiful thing.

21 - choices, i am so very thankful for choices.  we have the ability to make choices about our lives.  choices that lead us into a different direction, choices that may be the most difficult we ever make, choices on simple things.  not everyone may support those choices, but they are ours to make and ours alone. 

alright, i think that is it for tonight.  my attention span is beginning to wane.

Thankful Items 3, 4, and 5

so rather than days, i am going to post my thankful items.  it just works much better with life.

thankful item #3 - i am thankful i can provide for my kids.  as a child who grew up on AFDC (old version of welfare) and didn't figure out others didn't shop at goodwill for their school clothes until about 4th grade, i am so fucking thankful i can provide new, clean clothing for my kids.  that i can purchase ALL of their school supplies, even if it may be painful to the checkbook to do so.  that my kids can attend swim lessons and other activities without worry.  that there is always a christmas or birthday gift, or something just because.

thankful item #4 - i am thankful for my tall-ass hot chocolate from Starbucks on Saturday.

thankful item #5 - i am thankful for a safe environment for myself and my family.  violence is not something my children have to witness between their parents.  while we may not always have our shit together, we always come out on top...together. 

Day 2 Thankfulness

Day 2:  Today, I am thankful for my pal, R.  I was having a complete shit day and while I was at Target, I heard my name called by R.  What a delightful surprise.  R is someone who makes my soul feel at ease the minute I'm with her.  She's a friend that we can just be, there is no pretense, no gossip, no fakeness....we simply enjoy each others company.  Moments of talking non-stop and moments of silence.  And today, having the awesome opportunity to chat with her, much too briefly, turned my day around.  And for that, as well as her, I am so thankful.

Day 1 of 30 Days of Thankfulness

I'm going to continue my reminders to myself to be present and do a thankful item each day of November.  It may not happen daily, but by the end of the month there will be 30 of them.

Day 1:  Today I am thankful for Phoenix.  He is strong-willed, stubborn, imaginative and sometimes out of control, but he is one of the most loving children I know and he gives the best hugs ever.  There are times I curse that child to myself because of a difficult moment, however most of the time at the end of that moment, he is remorseful for his choices and is able to make better decisions.  He is a child who can make me laugh at my darkest times and sooth heartaches.  He loves 150%, everything he does is big.  And I love him and am so thankful for the opportunity to be his mom.