Thursday, September 11, 2008

Struggling

Bedtime is a disaster in our home lately. A battle of wills. And we're really fucking tired. As in physically tired and tired of the knock down, drag 'em out bedtimes. It's the little one who's causing the ruckus. Remember me posting about a month ago about his sleep issues and being "scared"? Well, it got better for a brief period and now the last week had been hell. One night can go well, and the next is pure torture.

Jason and I are frustrated and it's causing friction between us. We're both feeling like we are doing a lot and the other is not recognizing that. In the last few days I feel like we work against each other rather than as one unit. It makes me sad. And, quite frankly, pissed off. He apparently has looked at sleep stuff online (at work) and hasn't told me. I hauled out the sleep book we got when Phoenix was a baby and that was briefly picked up. The communication of how we deal with this sleepy, but wide awake, child is so not happening.

Tuesday night, it took us 3.5 hours to get Phoenix to sleep. Tonight was about two hours. That's just way too damn long. The other morning he crawled into bed with me at 4am. And guess who was up for the morning. He and I were. He crashed hard by 9am, but that's so not an option for us. We need to sit and plan a better bedtime routine and try everything we can to stick to it for the weeks to come, just to get him to sleep better. Of course, sleeping through the night is a friggin' problem too.

I know I signed up for this parent gig. But right now, I'm pretty pissed off that nothing with my kids ever seems easy. All those people who have never had sleep issues with their children, well, I hate them right now. (Sorry, if that's one of you) Our kids have never slept well. And since 2003, neither have we.

4 comments:

Alice said...

Must be something in the air, because Bubba Joe's been a TYRANT lately. He has his own bed but we've found he sleeps better with us. So we'll gradually introduce it. I'm okay with that.

But when he comes to bed with us then proceeds to beat the crap of out of me ... that's when I just don't know what to do. *sigh*

Last night, we went to bed at 10:00ish. None of us slept until after midnight, when he'd FINALLY stopped hitting and just crashed.

I'm with you - we've ALWAYS had sleep issues. And I, too, HATE kids that sleep well. :)

amy said...

B has had some sleep issues. They have gotten better, but some nights still insists on getting out of bed 10 times...which is better than the 50 times last year at this time :-) I'm not really sure what drives them, we always thought he thought he might miss something when he went to bed. He would pop up and jump inbetween the door frame and act like a clown just to see us react...and the more we reacted the more he kept it up. I know how exhausting it can be! We finally tried bribing him...each night he stayed in bed he got candy in the morning, or if he stayed in for a whole week he could pick out a new hot wheel. It worked better than anything else we tried. I guess both my kids love to bargain with us :-) But hey it worked!

Dawn said...

All joking aside, you really should try watching the "Supernanny". She's friggin' amazing! Her methods really do work, as long as the parents can stick with it. The first night is long & tiring, but it's all about re-training the kids to do what you want them to do, and they realize they can't get away with all the tricks.
I had to literally pull all of C's posessions out of his room until he got the point that I would do this every night and he would have quite the empty room. He did get the point, and even though he still may try to screw around for 1/2 hour, I only have to say a couple choice threats, and he knows I'll follow through if he keeps it up.

It works! Look into Supernanny's site, as well as Dr. Phil. His methods also worked for us.

(I know, I know, sounds quacky. I'm tellin' ya, they do work, if you work the program)

Robyn said...

I am one of those people you hate. But no apologies needed! My first had colic after we brought him home from the NICU. Then when he got over that, I pretty much rocked him to sleep for months on end, until my hubby stepped in and told me enough was enough. We did the cry it out method, and it worked (as much as I hated it and cried along with him and one point I even went on a walk while DH stayed with him).

Our second son screamed for 15 weeks solid. I wanted to shoot my foot off. Finally, when he turned 6months, he just started sleeping thru the night all by himself.

I am so so sorry you are having problems w/sleeping. I've heard good things about the book "No cry sleep solution". I hope something gives soon and you both get some much needed rest!