Saturday, November 17, 2007

What it could mean

Many of my friends & family know that I am currently on the list of eligible candidates for a probation/parole agent. My chances of getting interviews are extremely high as I am currently ranked in the top section of the listing. As much as I would love to work within the county I reside in, that most likely won't be happening for a while to come. It looks like I'll have to accept a position in a neighboring county and after a year I can hope for a transfer if my home county has a position available.

What many don't know is that I interviewd for an area county in July, and was offered a postion. We didn't tell a great deal of people at the time, but I unfortunately had to turn down the position. It was a difficult decision and one that caused a great deal of personal anxiety. The timing was just not right for our family.

Well, I've got another interview scheduled for next month with a county next door. If offered, I will most likely take the position. It would mean a one hour drive to and from work each day, but hopefully it wouldn't be for more than a year or two. This is an unbelieveable opportunity for me, and I hope the interview goes well.

To turn down the position in July caused me to doubt myself and my abilities. I was fearful that another position would not come along and I had lost my one chance. It felt like I was giving up on my dream. I cannot express the relief and happiness I felt when I got the letter last week asking for an interview. I literally sat in the van at the mailbox with tears streaming down my face. I called Jason as soon as I drove into the driveway.

I have a month to go before the interview, so hopefully I won't psych myself out. Going back to work is obviously going to mean huge changes for our family and it won't be easy. But I'd be doing a job that I enjoy (hopefully) and we'd be having extra income that would be very beneficial. It does make me sad to know that I'll have to put the kids back into daycare. I was hoping to stay home with Phoenix until he was two, but he's a pretty social kid so I'm sure he'll do well. I think Ariana will have the more difficult time of it.

The fear of the unknown is powerful. Will driving 60 miles each way daily have a major impact on our lives? Will I be able to spend time with my kids each night or will I see them just as they are getting ready for bed? Will I be able to get up at the buttcrack of dawn again to get to work on time?

So many thoughts.

2 comments:

Jen said...

Oh yay Denise! July was a hard month for you, wasn't it? I'm so glad that life showed you that unexpected gifts are worth waiting for.

HUGS!
;) Jen

Dawn said...

Congrats, girl on getting the interview! Best of luck to you!

Do not question yourself, you are great and that shows!

You can do anything you set your mind to, even waking at the buttcrack of dawn for a job you will love!