Tuesday, November 27, 2007

Self Journey

Lately, I've been posting more "fluff" items and not really any deep issues. There's a reason for it, but it's one that I won't be going into anytime soon. But what I am going to aim to do is to work on my self journey. There are things in my life that I need to deal with / flesh out / accept / etc.

I'm a pretty fairly open person with many things (obviously, I have this blog), but when it comes right down to my inner self I don't share that. I have an extremely difficult time expressing my truest emotions and always have. To open up and share deep feelings is so painful for me. Painful is a way that I cannot find words to express. It's not painful in the sense that I have a lot of painful things that have happened, but it's painful to just plain open up. I hide a great deal of my emotions and am one of those "stuff the emotions" people. And I hate it. It's not particularly helpful, good for myself, or beneficial. It drives my husband crazy. He is one person I know I can count on to never judge me or criticize me for my feelings, but it's still amazingly difficult to share even with him.

It's something I want to work on. I don't like feeling this way and so I must tread forward.

1 comment:

Childlife said...

I'm so very sorry you're going having to work through some difficult things, Denise. I started journaling for similar reasons and that kind of morphed into a blog. I tend to hide behind humor a lot. It's tough to just keep things bottled up... and tougher to take the first steps to change it. Hang in there. I'm sending lots of warm thoughts your way.