exhausting

Last night I made the comment that I wish we had video cameras in the house so others can really see what life is life with SPD and anxiety.  In particular, our family.  The boy child's engine was on high ALL NIGHT LONG, no matter what we tried for strategies.  And just when we thought he was coming down and was heading towards bed, he thought he heard a noise in his room.  This led to an hour long battle challenge of working through the "there's a monster in my room" issue. 

Screaming.  Sweating.  Rigid body.  Crying.  Hiding.  Fear.  Talking a mile a minute (although this isn't much different from other daily moments).  Back to terror.  Us looking at each other wondering what the hell set this off and how can we bring him down. 

Eventually we got him calmed down and he started off the night in his own bed.  Whew.  It was one of those anxiety moments that I wish others could witness.  It wouldn't make me feel so alone at times, especially when trying to explain it to family & friends.

tone

sometimes i wish he could hear himself speak and how the message comes across.  to me, to the children.  they get the message loud and clear that they are disrupting his world even without the words.

Promise Walk 2013

For the fourth time, I am playing host to a Promise Walk for Preeclampsia in my city.  As a two-time preeclampsia survivor, I cannot imagine not being involved.  I am coming up on the 10 year mark of my HELLP Syndrome experience and 7 years on my subsequent pregnancy with pregnancy.  And at the end of the year, it will be 10 years since I found the Preeclampsia Foundation.  Without the organization and the women I have met, I fear how things could have gone for me.  The ladies offered support and encouragement when I needed it most.  They were there for me when I was scared during pregnancy #2.  I have been volunteering in various capacities for about 9 years.  I have met some incredible individuals and had the privilege in other women's joys & heartbreaks.  Been inspired and had the opportunity to be involved in some powerful events over the years.  The ashes of what was one of the most traumatic experiences of my life have led me to awesome things in my life.  And for that I am thankful.

UBP 2013

It's been a while since I've participated, but I'm going to again this year. The 5 Minutes for Mom Ultimate Blog Party 2013 began last night and it's a great deal of fun as well as a neat way to meet new blogs (aka people) to read. 

Technically, I'm in the section of "mommy blogger" (even though I loathe that name), but it's where I fit best.  For those stopping by for the first time, HI.  I'm Denise, a thirty-something lady with a husband and two kidlets.  I am a two-time preeclampsia survivor, a lover of books, a listener of music, and a Disney enthusiast.  I am working out some personal issues that are thirty years in the making, which has been interesting to say the least.  We have a few extra needs to deal with with our kidlets (also referred to as "halflings"):  anxiety, ADHD, sensory processing disorder.  Life is good.  I'm breathing and that is one awesome thing.  :)

So, feel free to make yourself comfortable and be sure to say hi before you leave!