Saturday, March 29, 2008
New Camera
Here are some photos I took with my new camera, a Nikon D40. I love it so far and I'm only on page 19 of the manual. I'm getting used to it and am having lots of fun practicing by taking LOTS of photos.
Friday, March 28, 2008
Mixed Emotions
It's that lovely time of year again. The time where I start to look forward to my kids' birthdays as well as dread them. Each year, I think I'll feel better about it. But for some reason I don't. I recall the naivety of my first pregnancy, the fear, and anxieties of their births. The flu symptoms that turned out to be this disorder I had never heard of before. The anxiety of the second pregnancy and reaching that point where I got sick with the first, and waiting for the hammer to fall. Each year as we celebrate their being with us is a joy, but also throws me back into time.
I'd be lying if I said the circumstances of my children's births didn't still affect me in a major way. Yes, we are here and healthy. But the nightmare is still fresh in my mind, even as come up on year five of my HELLP syndrome delivery. It shaped and changed me. I cannot give up on the cause that had entered our lives. Being a preeclampsia survivor is part of my identity. And it's a piece that I cherish and hate.
The feelings of failure never really go away. Knowing that your body failed you and your child doing something that women have done for thousands of years. Of course, preeclampsia has been around that long and thousands and thousands of other women have experienced the disorder themselves. Knowing that when my daughter grows up and decides to become a mommy she will face the same danger.
The day where I should be celebrating their births is always a bittersweet. I am thankful that they are here with us, and healthy. I wonder how long I'll feel this way. Will it stop at some point? I don't think so.
Preeclampsia robbed us of a "normal" birth and pregnancy experience. It still pisses me off to no end. The decision to not have children was made under the pressure of facing another high-risk pregnancy and how it would affect the two children we did have. I appreciate and love them too much to try again. And it breaks my heart that we simply could not have made our choice without some issue hanging over our heads.
Our experience did teach us to appreciate them and the little things in life more. To enjoy each day and live it fully. To laugh with them rather than shout. To hug and kiss them daily. I try to look at the positives our experiences brought us, but some days are more difficult than others.
I'd be lying if I said the circumstances of my children's births didn't still affect me in a major way. Yes, we are here and healthy. But the nightmare is still fresh in my mind, even as come up on year five of my HELLP syndrome delivery. It shaped and changed me. I cannot give up on the cause that had entered our lives. Being a preeclampsia survivor is part of my identity. And it's a piece that I cherish and hate.
The feelings of failure never really go away. Knowing that your body failed you and your child doing something that women have done for thousands of years. Of course, preeclampsia has been around that long and thousands and thousands of other women have experienced the disorder themselves. Knowing that when my daughter grows up and decides to become a mommy she will face the same danger.
The day where I should be celebrating their births is always a bittersweet. I am thankful that they are here with us, and healthy. I wonder how long I'll feel this way. Will it stop at some point? I don't think so.
Preeclampsia robbed us of a "normal" birth and pregnancy experience. It still pisses me off to no end. The decision to not have children was made under the pressure of facing another high-risk pregnancy and how it would affect the two children we did have. I appreciate and love them too much to try again. And it breaks my heart that we simply could not have made our choice without some issue hanging over our heads.
Our experience did teach us to appreciate them and the little things in life more. To enjoy each day and live it fully. To laugh with them rather than shout. To hug and kiss them daily. I try to look at the positives our experiences brought us, but some days are more difficult than others.
A Good Parent
I opened my email yesterday to find one titled, "Are You A Good Parent." I felt the inside of my gut twist and my eyes roll as I thought, here goes another friggin article telling mom's that we are not good enough. We can be more perfect, more attentive, more more more. I was going to hit delete without even opening it, but hesitated. Then I clicked on the email and into the article. I was surprised to see the article talking about the pressures of being perfect and that we don't have to be perfect parents. Being a good parent means it's okay to let your hair down, let the toilet turn brown once in a while, to take care of yourself.
Let's face it, many of the baby magazines out there today promote this perfectionism that most of us just can't attain. It makes us crazy when our children don't master tasks that are shared in the "what does your child do at 12-18 months" section, even with the small, tiny print that says not all children meet this so called rule. The endless articles on how to lose the baby weight and showing some celebrity who looks fabulous leaving the hospital. They are filled with the perfect births, perfect babies.
I used to enjoy reading them. I'd gleam one or two things out of the magazine, but now...I can barely pick it up when I get one. I can find fault within my self without the help of a magazine. The pressure of being a good parent is large enough without 3+ different magazines/websites telling you "how to".
Let's face it, many of the baby magazines out there today promote this perfectionism that most of us just can't attain. It makes us crazy when our children don't master tasks that are shared in the "what does your child do at 12-18 months" section, even with the small, tiny print that says not all children meet this so called rule. The endless articles on how to lose the baby weight and showing some celebrity who looks fabulous leaving the hospital. They are filled with the perfect births, perfect babies.
I used to enjoy reading them. I'd gleam one or two things out of the magazine, but now...I can barely pick it up when I get one. I can find fault within my self without the help of a magazine. The pressure of being a good parent is large enough without 3+ different magazines/websites telling you "how to".
Where do farts come from?
This was the topic at our dinner table this evening. As my 4 year old asks this question, I'm trying to formulate an answer. In my head, I'm thinking..."okay, it's air that builds up in your tummy and comes out your butt."
But she answered it best all by herself. Farts are "hiccups in your butt."
But she answered it best all by herself. Farts are "hiccups in your butt."
Thursday, March 27, 2008
She did what?!
What is something that if you did it, it would shock everyone who knows you, barring anything immoral or illegal?
I honestly have no clue. I'll have to think about this one. It would probably be actually running the 5K I said I'd do. And which I haven't started training for due to this lovely frickin' cold I still have.
I honestly have no clue. I'll have to think about this one. It would probably be actually running the 5K I said I'd do. And which I haven't started training for due to this lovely frickin' cold I still have.
Nightime Help
So, we've solved the nighttime issue of the poop machine taking off his pajamas and diaper. Anyone have ideas on how to stop him during naptime in the day?
Monday, March 24, 2008
Being Prepared
Do you need a lawyer or can you craft your own will? We've discussed what would happen with the kids, but haven't had a will made yet. And we need to.
Deep Thought
Would you rather die suddenly, without warning, or know ahead of time and be surrounded by loved ones while dying slowly?
What a toughie. I wouldn't want to linger slowly, but I would love to have the opporunity to say goodbye to my family.
What a toughie. I wouldn't want to linger slowly, but I would love to have the opporunity to say goodbye to my family.
I've Been Tagged
I got tagged for a meme last week by Lori .
The rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.
So, here goes....
1. I crave bare feet. Socks and shoes are not a fave of mine and winter just plain sucks. You can find me wearing sandals at the first sign of summer and up until the snow flies.
2. I hate horror flicks. As in, I have a irrational fear of them. I can watch most serial killer movies, but horror flicks do me in. I can't sleep and hate to even get up to go to the bathroom at night due to this irrational fear that Freddy will get me. So, how do I explain to my 4yo that the boogey man doesn't exist when I freak out like that?
3. I heart A-1 steaksauce. I eat it on pork chops, chicken, hamburgers, and if I ate steaks, would with steaks too. When I was younger, much younger, I would make A-1 sandwiches with the steaksauce and a piece of bread. I'd even take a swig straight out of the bottle. Ewww....gross!
4. I'm a homebody.I'd much rather stay in and read a book or watch a movie than go out for a night on the town.
5. I am afraid of the dark. I seriously freak out and I'm not sure where this fear comes from. The other week I was down here in the basement on the puter when the power went out for like 2 seconds, came back on, and then out again for 2 seconds. Here I am, in the dark for a breath, in the basement at night, in the corner farthest from the stairs. My heart was racing. When we go camping, I'd rather pee in front of everyone than walk to the pitters. I make Jason come with me behind a vehicle and hold the flashlight while I tinkle.
6. OCD in the closet.My clothes in the closet must be hung a certain way. T-shirts are first, then dress shirts, then sweatshirts/jackets...all color-coded in their grouping. My underwear & sock drawer, however, is in shambles. I just throw them in there. Socks on the left side, undies on the right.
There you have it. And I tag
Dawn at Brown Family
Pam at Notes From a Hectic Life
Jen at Unique But Not Alone
The rules:
1) Link to the person who tagged you.
2) Post the rules.
3) Share six non-important things / habits / quirks about yourself.
4) Tag at least three people.
5) Be sure the people you tagged KNOW you tagged them by commenting what you did.
So, here goes....
1. I crave bare feet. Socks and shoes are not a fave of mine and winter just plain sucks. You can find me wearing sandals at the first sign of summer and up until the snow flies.
2. I hate horror flicks. As in, I have a irrational fear of them. I can watch most serial killer movies, but horror flicks do me in. I can't sleep and hate to even get up to go to the bathroom at night due to this irrational fear that Freddy will get me. So, how do I explain to my 4yo that the boogey man doesn't exist when I freak out like that?
3. I heart A-1 steaksauce. I eat it on pork chops, chicken, hamburgers, and if I ate steaks, would with steaks too. When I was younger, much younger, I would make A-1 sandwiches with the steaksauce and a piece of bread. I'd even take a swig straight out of the bottle. Ewww....gross!
4. I'm a homebody.I'd much rather stay in and read a book or watch a movie than go out for a night on the town.
5. I am afraid of the dark. I seriously freak out and I'm not sure where this fear comes from. The other week I was down here in the basement on the puter when the power went out for like 2 seconds, came back on, and then out again for 2 seconds. Here I am, in the dark for a breath, in the basement at night, in the corner farthest from the stairs. My heart was racing. When we go camping, I'd rather pee in front of everyone than walk to the pitters. I make Jason come with me behind a vehicle and hold the flashlight while I tinkle.
6. OCD in the closet.My clothes in the closet must be hung a certain way. T-shirts are first, then dress shirts, then sweatshirts/jackets...all color-coded in their grouping. My underwear & sock drawer, however, is in shambles. I just throw them in there. Socks on the left side, undies on the right.
There you have it. And I tag
Dawn at Brown Family
Pam at Notes From a Hectic Life
Jen at Unique But Not Alone
Books so far
So, I while back I posted that I was going to try and read 52 books this year. Essentially one per week. I'm a bit backlogged in writing them up so here is a bunch. And since I'm catching up, it's really just a highlight of each book.
#1, 2, & 3: Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer
Fabulous series where a teen girl falls in love with a vampire and finds out her best friend is a werewolf. Easy read, one you can't put down!
#4The Historian
The story of Vlad Dracula. It stretches in pieces, but the ending is good. There were moments when I did want to look up and around as I felt not so alone.
#5Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
Love, love, love this. Timeless classic.
#6, 7, & 8 His Dark Materials
The Golden Compass & following stories. I found it very interesting. I was not aware that these books have been around for many years already, and wanted to read them after hearing the hullabaloo with the "anti-Christ" theme. While I can see that some would draw that conclusion, I found a great story.
#1, 2, & 3: Twilight Series by Stephanie Meyer
Fabulous series where a teen girl falls in love with a vampire and finds out her best friend is a werewolf. Easy read, one you can't put down!
#4The Historian
The story of Vlad Dracula. It stretches in pieces, but the ending is good. There were moments when I did want to look up and around as I felt not so alone.
#5Pride & Prejudice by Jane Austen
Love, love, love this. Timeless classic.
#6, 7, & 8 His Dark Materials
The Golden Compass & following stories. I found it very interesting. I was not aware that these books have been around for many years already, and wanted to read them after hearing the hullabaloo with the "anti-Christ" theme. While I can see that some would draw that conclusion, I found a great story.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Too much TV
I admit it. My kids watch entirely way too much television. At least in the morning, it's mostly PBS. But still. Way too much TV.
Here's the reason this has become very apparent to us today. We are getting ready to color eggs when Jason says he is craving Subway. Before I can even open my mouth to reply, Ariana pops in with "Eat Fresh!" WHAT?
Here's the reason this has become very apparent to us today. We are getting ready to color eggs when Jason says he is craving Subway. Before I can even open my mouth to reply, Ariana pops in with "Eat Fresh!" WHAT?
Long Long Time Ago
Okay, so it hasn't been thaaat long but I like the title. I'm still coughing and now everyone else in my home is coughing. We sound like a pack of rabid and on-their-deathbed pack of wild animals. At any time, the sounds of lung hacking can be heard from one room or another. It's quite amusing really. But if I laugh too hard I'll start coughing so I am a little pissy about it being amusing. I'll laugh when we're all healthy again.
The kids had swim lessons today. Ariana jumped out of bed at the first sliver of light to shine through her window and came running into our room, yelling loudly "It's swimming day!" Yes, child. Now go back to bed. Needless to say, that didn't happen. She loved her class and freaked out her teacher by going under the water at least three times. Thankfully she's had this teacher before, but it did give Miss Amy a slight fright. Phoenix on the other hand, freaked. As in screaming for about a total of 25 minutes in the 30 minute class. I think Jason was ready to bolt at the first bellar. I'm hoping this changes in the weeks to come. I don't know what I'd do with one who wants to be a fish and the other hating deep water. He loves being in the water when we go camping, but the pool freaks him out. I take him next week, so we'll see how he does. Hopefully, mommy-power will help him through it.
I was given a huge compliment by my dearest love this weekend. He told me that even though he works hard at work, he thinks my job at home with the kids is definately more difficult. (It's about time he realizes that. Crap, he'll probably read this and roll his eyes at that comment.) So, to show his gratitude he bought me a new camera. It's not really gratitude since we had discussed buying it, but it worked for him yesterday. I am now the proud owner of a digital SLR, a Nikon D40. And I am having a blast learning how to use it. I'm about 1/4 into the manual and have LOTS to learn yet, but hopefully I'll have some photos for you soon.
My oldest is going to spend two nights with grandma, starting tomorrow afternoon. Would you not like me if I told you I'm kind of excited for that? It's nice to have time with just the boy, you know? And she gets one-on-one time with grandma. They both love to art, and my mom is planning a "camp-out" in the living room. It should be fun. For all of us.
Phoenix continues to be the poop machine. I'm not joking when I say I've washed crib bedding every day for almost the last week. Seriously kid, keep your frickin' diaper on! It's getting old and I'm tired of cleaning up crap.
We avoided major snowfall here yesterday, thank god. I am so tired of snow and cold. And it sounds like everyone else is too.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I honestly haven't been in much of a mood to write. For many weeks, thus all the short crappy posts. I need to get my blog notebook back out and write stuff down when I'm thinking about it. It's been a while since I've done a decent write.
Hope everyone has a happy Easter!
The kids had swim lessons today. Ariana jumped out of bed at the first sliver of light to shine through her window and came running into our room, yelling loudly "It's swimming day!" Yes, child. Now go back to bed. Needless to say, that didn't happen. She loved her class and freaked out her teacher by going under the water at least three times. Thankfully she's had this teacher before, but it did give Miss Amy a slight fright. Phoenix on the other hand, freaked. As in screaming for about a total of 25 minutes in the 30 minute class. I think Jason was ready to bolt at the first bellar. I'm hoping this changes in the weeks to come. I don't know what I'd do with one who wants to be a fish and the other hating deep water. He loves being in the water when we go camping, but the pool freaks him out. I take him next week, so we'll see how he does. Hopefully, mommy-power will help him through it.
I was given a huge compliment by my dearest love this weekend. He told me that even though he works hard at work, he thinks my job at home with the kids is definately more difficult. (It's about time he realizes that. Crap, he'll probably read this and roll his eyes at that comment.) So, to show his gratitude he bought me a new camera. It's not really gratitude since we had discussed buying it, but it worked for him yesterday. I am now the proud owner of a digital SLR, a Nikon D40. And I am having a blast learning how to use it. I'm about 1/4 into the manual and have LOTS to learn yet, but hopefully I'll have some photos for you soon.
My oldest is going to spend two nights with grandma, starting tomorrow afternoon. Would you not like me if I told you I'm kind of excited for that? It's nice to have time with just the boy, you know? And she gets one-on-one time with grandma. They both love to art, and my mom is planning a "camp-out" in the living room. It should be fun. For all of us.
Phoenix continues to be the poop machine. I'm not joking when I say I've washed crib bedding every day for almost the last week. Seriously kid, keep your frickin' diaper on! It's getting old and I'm tired of cleaning up crap.
We avoided major snowfall here yesterday, thank god. I am so tired of snow and cold. And it sounds like everyone else is too.
Well, I guess that's it for now. I honestly haven't been in much of a mood to write. For many weeks, thus all the short crappy posts. I need to get my blog notebook back out and write stuff down when I'm thinking about it. It's been a while since I've done a decent write.
Hope everyone has a happy Easter!
Wednesday, March 19, 2008
Alive
I'm alive, but not feeling so well. I'm battling bronchitis and spent the weekend coughing and hacking. The drugs are good though.
Plus, I just haven't had the mindset on anything blog-worthy. But I'll post again soon, I promise.
Plus, I just haven't had the mindset on anything blog-worthy. But I'll post again soon, I promise.
Thursday, March 13, 2008
hacking, sniffling
That would be me. Tuesday I awoke with a cold type feeling that only got worse as the day went on. I pretty much spent Tues afternoon/Wed afternoon on my ass in bed. So, not a lot of puter time. I've been on to check my work email and that's about it. I need to catch up on everyone and see what's happenin'.
Monday, March 10, 2008
Let's Dance!
This week is the Ultimate Blog Party at 5 Minutes for Mom . I'll be posting some photos of our lil' 'ole party soon.
The goal of the party is that we get to make some friends, get goofy on our blog corners, and have fun. A rule of the party is to post an intro of sorts here, so here goes!
Say hi if you are stopping by from the list!
About me: I am woman who has ugly feet (hence my hobbit feet title). My family consists of a husband who loves Fantasy Football a little too much, two kiddos who are extremely silly and keep me on my toes, and a monster goldfish who eats guppies. I love to read, scrapbook when I have time, and surf the web. I could eat pizza every day of the year. I'm a preeclampsia survivor and a lover of Disney.
There are some cool prizes to win. These are on my list:
Sweet & Simple Designs
Blog Designs By Summer
Sassy Signs
Other items I like are: 71, 117, 123, 126, 127, 59, 29, 67
My Attire:
I thought about wearing this....
OR this....
I finally settled on this....
Our top menu items are some delicious desserts
and good old Wisconsin cheese curds
Beverages are
And at the top of my guest list....
Care to party with me?
The goal of the party is that we get to make some friends, get goofy on our blog corners, and have fun. A rule of the party is to post an intro of sorts here, so here goes!
Say hi if you are stopping by from the list!
About me: I am woman who has ugly feet (hence my hobbit feet title). My family consists of a husband who loves Fantasy Football a little too much, two kiddos who are extremely silly and keep me on my toes, and a monster goldfish who eats guppies. I love to read, scrapbook when I have time, and surf the web. I could eat pizza every day of the year. I'm a preeclampsia survivor and a lover of Disney.
There are some cool prizes to win. These are on my list:
Sweet & Simple Designs
Blog Designs By Summer
Sassy Signs
Other items I like are: 71, 117, 123, 126, 127, 59, 29, 67
My Attire:
I thought about wearing this....
OR this....
I finally settled on this....
Our top menu items are some delicious desserts
and good old Wisconsin cheese curds
Beverages are
And at the top of my guest list....
Care to party with me?
Friday, March 7, 2008
How do you spell relief?
A-W-A-Y.
I'm leaving later this afternoon for a scrapfest with some girlfriends. Not only do I get time away from my heathen brood, but I can scrap too! I'm going to "party like it's 1999."
I'm leaving later this afternoon for a scrapfest with some girlfriends. Not only do I get time away from my heathen brood, but I can scrap too! I'm going to "party like it's 1999."
Wednesday, March 5, 2008
The 4 year old mind
Ariana's class has been studying ocean life for the last week or so, which she just adores. Last evening, as we read one of our ocean books she turns and says, "Mom. You know when fish are just swimming and not going anywhere, they are swimming to entertainment themselves."
I couldn't help but smile at that one.
I couldn't help but smile at that one.
Tuesday, March 4, 2008
Monday, March 3, 2008
Two months
I'm in need of a lil' love from the big cheese. A vacation is so near, and I cannot wait!
Sunday, March 2, 2008
That would be a no
As in no possible jury duty for me this week. I called in this evening and the trial is off. While I was excited to take part, this was really bad timing and I was crossing my fingers not to be selected. All I could imagine was me sniffling and blowing through the proceedings.
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