friends 2.0

i have such gratitude for the lovely friends in my life.  you are my lifeline and i don't know that any of you know that.  for so long i have pushed people away and that gets really fucking lonely.  but as i have grown and learned about myself, i have come to accept who i am and to put myself out there for the friends in my life.  it is not easy for me, but it is part of my personal growth mission.  and i certainly do not tell these individuals enough how much they mean to me.

i received a lovely card from a long time friend earlier this year after i shared very private things here.  this is a friend whom i do not get time with much at all, but that card made me feel.  i cried, i stopped breathing, and i felt loved.  by someone who didn't have to give it or share her appreciation for my sharing.  and i did not properly thank her (wasn't sure how).  L, thank you from the bottom of my heart.  i will never forget that kindness.  i am so thankful you have graced my life.

for my pal S, thank you for setting me straight when i get in the funk and for setting a positive example of a fabulous human being.  in the 4+ years we've know each other, you have taught me to be more kind, more understanding, and just simply how to be a better life force.  your dedication to helping others is one helluvah example.  we've had less time for chats since we no longer work in the same office, but please know i hold you in high esteem.  and that's all i'm going to say as it will make us both uncomfortable if keep going.  :)

for my vagina buddies...seriously, thank you for keeping me laughing and smiling.  for reminding me to not take myself too seriously.  K, for helping me be more "out" socially and encouraging me to grow as a dancer, as a friend, and more.  your attitude is always refreshing and bubbly, and your sparkles are something i want to have more of in my life.  M, thank you for allowing me to be real and calling bullshit when it needs to be.  you make me want to be more educated, more articulate, more of a deep-thinker.  and you encourage that, which is awesome to have in a friend.  what would i do without our vagina time?

R, for the friend who gets me without me having to speak.  we can not talk for weeks and pick right up where we left off.  we can have a deep discussion without being too deep.  you respect my beliefs and experiences and i thank you so much for that.  really, i cannot express how much it means to me.  thank you for being my first panera date and for being silly with me at IM, or just in general. 

i love you all.  thank you for allowing me to be me, for helping me be a better me, and for encouraging me to be myself, my authentic self.