tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post1393488758084695171..comments2023-08-23T05:41:22.094-05:00Comments on A Woman with Hobbit Feet: Differences~Denise~http://www.blogger.com/profile/01586221664679114198noreply@blogger.comBlogger14125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-42067534673433262842008-01-09T16:30:00.000-06:002008-01-09T16:30:00.000-06:00lmao ;-p~jason~lmao ;-p<BR/><BR/>~jason~Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-13700584743085956052008-01-09T13:09:00.000-06:002008-01-09T13:09:00.000-06:00Will you two stop lusting after each other on my d...Will you two stop lusting after each other on my damn blog! ;) hee hee~Denise~https://www.blogger.com/profile/01586221664679114198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-53567144423622836302008-01-09T08:42:00.000-06:002008-01-09T08:42:00.000-06:00LOL!!!Jason, you need to earn your keep for all th...LOL!!!<BR/><BR/>Jason, you need to earn your keep for all the good sex I keep offering! ;) (you know your imagination is running wild) ;)<BR/><BR/>I wasn't trying to get you in trouble, just pointing out that I think most men would rather pick up a duty at home rather than hear b!tching...at least that's what Eric says. <BR/><BR/>Oh, and when you clean the toilet, don't use one of the toothbrushes that are by the bathroom sink...eew!!! ;) <BR/><BR/>Jason, p.s. "menage-a-tois" ;0<BR/>ok now, let your imagination run wild again! <BR/><BR/>Love ya'! :)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-78435848755397302222008-01-08T16:01:00.000-06:002008-01-08T16:01:00.000-06:00Damn, not so sure I want to post a reply ~ducking ...Damn, not so sure I want to post a reply ~ducking for cover a bit~<BR/><BR/>Got a great kick out of Allison's post about her kids showing up in clothes too small.<BR/><BR/>Dawn, I won't take anything too personally, I still love you. Besides, I can't forget how you stroked my ego the last time you called ;-).<BR/><BR/>Denise, I honestly don't know what I or our family would do without you. I've told you many times you are truly a remarkable woman and I don't know how you do it. I love you with all my heart and then some.<BR/><BR/>You're loving hubby.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-71981545504704420032008-01-07T23:07:00.000-06:002008-01-07T23:07:00.000-06:00Hi,Thanks for your comment on my blog. Your "diffe...Hi,<BR/>Thanks for your comment on my blog. Your "differences" post really struck me. I could have written it, so it made me laugh and I shared it with hubby, who only laughed a little, but oh well.Cassiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17610515731785778725noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-73426236250618332012008-01-07T10:44:00.000-06:002008-01-07T10:44:00.000-06:00Oh, sorry, I forgot to imput that our negotiations...Oh, sorry, I forgot to imput that our negotiations began after the recommendation of our marriage therapist whom we were seeing so we wouldn't get divorced! <BR/><BR/>(really, no kidding!)(not like I come to these revelations on my own for pete's sake!) ;)<BR/><BR/>I was the biggest B-I-T-C-H until I forced myself to let go for my own sanity...and our marriage.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-49488759600556680492008-01-07T09:41:00.000-06:002008-01-07T09:41:00.000-06:00Dawn, we actually have some chores that we each a...Dawn, we actually have some chores that we each are responsible for which has helped in the past tremendously. ;) I'm the toilet scrubber here.~Denise~https://www.blogger.com/profile/01586221664679114198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-19573958822127620282008-01-07T08:39:00.000-06:002008-01-07T08:39:00.000-06:00Hmmm...This is one thing we as women don't realize...Hmmm...This is one thing we as women don't realize we bring upon ourselves. We do allow our DH's to be this way. I'm in NO way defending men, who DO sit lazily on the couch and watch TV or nap while we go about the million things we as Moms do to keep the house in order. I do get defensive when DH does it too. Here's the catch: We expect them to, but men CAN'T read our minds, and do not operate or think the same way we do! This was a huge revelation for me, but once I started asking more of DH-not because he wasn't doing anything (working a FT job for one), but he didn't understand I needed more equality, even if I was at home w/the kids. I didn't feel our household duties were balanced, and I was getting all the chores while he'd come home and play or relax.<BR/><BR/>I decided this had to stop! Otherwise, I'd resent him...and he'd well...nap. <BR/><BR/>What struck me was when you wrote "He allows himself to sit his ass on the couch watching TV all evening. Me, I have problems allowing myself to do something like that."<BR/>Of course he does, and we as Moms CAN sit our ass on the couch as well and do nothing. We choose most often not to. We go about doing all the chores, and build up resentments while DH's have no idea why we're so pissed (or passit off as PMS)<BR/><BR/>Negotiate w/DH about who will do what. No matter who's at home or what's going on. Each person needs separate chores. I do all the laundry, but DH does all the dishes. When I get pissed that I'm on my 5th load of laundry, I realize there's a dishwasher needing unloading, and I don't have to do it! If there's dishes in the sink, I can let them sit because they're not mine to do!<BR/><BR/>I vacuum the house, but DH cleans the toilets. It's a trade-off. He may not like it 100% of the time, but I'm not nagging his ass, and not carrying all the workload!<BR/><BR/>It doesn't matter who works in or out of the house. At the end of the day, the family/household chores can and should be shared. If not in the evening, on the weekend. Both can knock them out and get everything done before the day's activities.<BR/><BR/>Negotiate, make a deal, work it out. Just because you're a SAHM does not mean you're not in a position to do everything and he can't share responsibility. (Jason will hate me for that! ;) )<BR/><BR/>***One key to the whole thing: He will not do things the same as you, or as well as you'd like them done. DO NOT nag about it! If he's scrubbing a toilet, it's getting clean. PERIOD! If he put a kid's shirt in the wrong drawer...so what? It's put away. (you can move it later) If you nag, he won't do crap. A gentle reminder is one thing, bitching about him helping is another. Men are like big kids. They drown us out if we bitch too much, then stop doing anything)<BR/><BR/>There are alternatives, but instead of assigning him things to do, make him feel like he's a part of it. Let him choose 2 things a week to do. You pick up the rest and go from there. Even if he vaccuums once per week, it's a start. <BR/><BR/>It's taken me years, but I truly have a good balance. It takes work and A LOT of talking (not complaining) with each other and working together.<BR/><BR/>(Sorry, this may not be what you want to hear, but just my 2¢)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-56044933620618635752008-01-06T18:00:00.000-06:002008-01-06T18:00:00.000-06:00You are all so sweet! Of course, things came to a...You are all so sweet! Of course, things came to a head this morning with us having a disagreement. We're both feeling like the other doesn't understand each other's stresses, etc. But it's on the up and up now.<BR/><BR/>Becky, I have to laugh cuz Jason does read my blog so when he sees this he'll have some comments I'm sure. ;)~Denise~https://www.blogger.com/profile/01586221664679114198noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-16876297929627226212008-01-06T16:40:00.000-06:002008-01-06T16:40:00.000-06:00It's hard, isn't it? My husband is an excellent fa...It's hard, isn't it? My husband is an excellent father but over 100% (if that's possible) lazy about doing any sort of housework. It's insane how little he does, and yet the messes he makes are worse than either of the kids.<BR/><BR/>Somedays, I get over it and get on with my life and other days I stew past the point of being ridiculous.<BR/><BR/>And of course, since he reads my blog, I can't talk about it there. <BR/><BR/>(sighs)<BR/><BR/>Oh well. <BR/><BR/>Could be worse, eh?Aunt Beckyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12146687582842259611noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-52135212035992502412008-01-06T13:30:00.000-06:002008-01-06T13:30:00.000-06:00Hey Denise, just wanted to let you know that I too...Hey Denise, just wanted to let you know that I too have the same issues with my DH. I too take care of the clothes and let me just tell you a little story about my DH and baby clothes. Not only does he not realize when clothes don't fit on Gracie, half the time he can't even put them on her correctly. He once brought her to daycare with her pj's on backwards (they were the kind with the feet in them and rather than realize they were on backwards and fix them he just twisted the legs around until her feet went in the right way). Our daycare provider (knowing how dads are way too well) just laughed at him and fixed it before he left to go to work. He was embarassed about the whole situation, yet he still puts pants on backwards or shoes on the wrong feet...it really does make you wonder though what would happen if we were not here to dress our children, clean the house, etc.<BR/><BR/>Anyway girl, I totally know how you feel. Go take some time for you... maybe a nice bubble bath and a good book would do you some good...Amyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14535908354968641568noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-66719236848116527622008-01-06T08:45:00.000-06:002008-01-06T08:45:00.000-06:00Ok, guilty... Denise, I have read your blog a lot...Ok, guilty... Denise, I have read your blog a lot but have never chimed in. Sorry!!! But after reading this last entry, just had to!! <BR/><BR/>I think it resonates with all of us SAHMs. God love them, but our hubbies will never TRULY understand. Never. I can tell you first hand what would happen about the clothes thing... When I returned from a 6-month deployment in May 2005 and greeted Evan (then 22 months old) and my hubby, Evan was wearing clothes that were way too small and his toes were hanging way over the end of his sandals. I remember saying, "Tomorrow we are going to buy you some clothes that fit!!" Guys just don't think about that stuff. <BR/><BR/>They don't think about the 1 million decisions we make every day: what are the kids going to wear, what to feed the kids for breakfast, snack, lunch, what's for dinner, what do we do today, what needs to be cleaned, what appointments need to be made, etc. etc. It's exhausting and very easy to become resentful...<BR/><BR/>Just wanted to say that I hear ya!! And also to say that you need to get out of the house and go treat yourself for doing such a great job. Go get a pedicure or a Starbucks. You deserve it!! <BR/><BR/>See ya on the Forums...Allisonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/15928994787907817674noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-90855664251009495062008-01-06T08:20:00.000-06:002008-01-06T08:20:00.000-06:00Just wanted to send ((((hugs)))). I was nodding m...Just wanted to send ((((hugs)))). I was nodding my head reading most of your whole entry. My dh can be the same way...I think sometimes he honestly thinks that all I do all day is play with the kids...and yes, somedays that is right..but not once in the 3 years we have lived in our new house has he ever swept the floor, or cleaned the funk out of a toilet...and this past week I also did the exact same thing in the boys drawers and closets...putting away Hunter's to save for Dalton and getting Dalton's ready to list on ebay or yard sale...I've always done this for them and I was thinking all the while is what would happen if something happened to me. I take care of so many things..the bills, the kids, etc etc and I wonder what in the world would happen to this family if I was gone. Anyway, know you aren't alone. ((((hugs))))Lorihttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14074861297420475352noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2166179636821676994.post-65798053296615849892008-01-05T20:35:00.000-06:002008-01-05T20:35:00.000-06:00Hey, Ms D, Know that you ARE NOT alone. Someone on...Hey, Ms D, <BR/><BR/>Know that you ARE NOT alone. Someone once gave me some advice, which was to stop making up stories in my head and talk to my DH. At first, I wasn't sure what that person meant, but our brains are so creative that we jump to conclusions, make guesses, or plain old wrong assumptions. <BR/><BR/>You are a phenomenal mommy. Take time to heal from your virus, get more sleep, and you'll find a way to talk to your DH. I know it! We PE survivors are some of the strongest mommies, I've ever met. Sometimes adversity is the spice of life! Heck, maybe you can have some make-up fun! LOL ;)<BR/><BR/>HUGS,<BR/>JenJenhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12860934723471342394noreply@blogger.com